Author Archives: thebardofkelvindale.com

Reboot

Reboot

Have you thought
How handy it would be
If we could reboot our life?
Like we do when our computer
Crashes and we are all screwed up

Of course with our computer
We have the expectation
That all will be restored
And we can start again
But life is not quite like that

The past has happened
It can’t be wiped out
And do we want it to be?
But hang on. I said we had “crashed”
How do we deal with the detritus?

Let it settle
Let’s hope we have not hurt
Too many others
And now reboot
And restart

We are not sure if this
Applies to computer systems
(Maybe in future with artificial intelligence)
But we have the self-awareness
To use the lessons of the past for future success

Perhaps not only reboot
Restart
But also rebrand!

Ken Fisher

Digital Christmas

Digital Christmas

Traditional plans are all cast asunder
Christmas now enshrined in digital numbers
Our letters to Santa at his home far up north
Replaced by texts and emails henceforth

Invites to parties we must meet with resistance
As they breach strict rules on social distance
Not just for Baby Jesus the inn has no room
The shepherds and wise men must learn how to Zoom

Indeed their gifts and anything else they require
At this present time are hard to acquire
It may be OK if they intend to bring food
But the shops are shut for non-essential goods

Our carol singing must be a solo affair
We cannot allow choir voices to blare
The YouTube version is the best we can do
Recorded last year from the Church pew

It seems that our homes we can still decorate
Here the digital age can our ambitions inflate
Not just the tree topped with an icon angelic
But thousands of lights which flash psychedelic

But our Christmas greetings will have to be muted
No travelling too far or you’ll be prosecuted
Sticking to the rules is an onerous task
And kissing impossible while sporting that mask!

But despite all these issues I am sure you agree
Noel should never be devoid of all glee
The digital world can still keep us connected
Ensuring that others are never neglected

Ken Fisher

The ‘Flu Jab 2020

The ‘Flu Jab [2020 Version]

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Don’t you just love it – this time of year?
That NHS reminder that can fill you with fear
It’s time once again to do as directed
And make sure from ‘flu you are fully protected

Not everyone receives this summons from high
But it applies to me – I admit with a sigh
The vaccine comes to us completely free
So take it manfully and don’t try to flee

If you are over the age of sixty-five
They will have checked your name in their archive
Or you are a pregnant lady, or overweight
It’s most unlikely that you can escape

If your immune system is somewhat suspect
They will be even keener your arm to inject
And if around the waist there is too much flab
They will puncture it all with the bold ‘flu jab

Of course we should not complain of this annual ritual
Intended to ensure that we remain fitter
And withstand the dangers of those nasty bugs
That seem to behave like micro-sized thugs

But this year jabs are so much more significant
In a world engulfed by the pandemic malificent
It’s not the ‘flu jab that is our  greatest desire
But the Covid vaccine that we all require

So when the message arrives to make the appointment
Make sure the nurse receives no disappointment
Get along to the surgery and bare your best arm
It will do you much good and surely no harm

Ken Fisher

These Faithful Eyes – by Oliver Fisher

These Faithful Eyes by Oliver Fisher
[A reflection on Faith]

These Faithful Eyes

There’s light inside your old stone furnace. To feel and think and pray and see.
To learn and hope and live in earnest. I am him as he is me.
My self composed upon those values. Accept these praises from my heart.
Though I may be struck with poisoned arrows. My skin is left without a mark.
My palms connect, My head is bowed. Ascending gently towards your light.
Our words and thoughts, our bond is loud. Humbly, happily blinded by sight.
My power and reason, please guide me still. And keep these weary wanderers safe.
I may grow old and tired and ill. But I can’t be broken if I’m made of faith.
My sins and wrongs have fuelled devotion. For you I can, I will be true. 
Though many are called, few are chosen. For they are scared to come to you.
And in the end you shall decide.  Will I fall or will we rise?
My soul is weighed, I can not hide. It’s time to judge these ‘faithful’ eyes.

– Oliver Fisher

Gotcha

Gotcha

That gotcha moment
When the radio host triumphantly
Traps a politician
By trawling up a quote where
He has now completely contradicted
His earlier recorded claims

That gotcha moment
When exaggerated advertising promises
About some wonder product
Or miracle cure
Are exposed as snake oil
A mere puff
By investigative journalism

That gotcha moment
When a two-timing husband
Comes out of a pub with his paramour
And unexpectedly bumps into
His daughter in the street
As she is returning from
The Brownies

That gotcha moment
When Amazon delivers
That awaited package to us
Which turns out to be
A cheap trinket
And not the anticipated
Wonder gizmo

That gotcha moment
When the press lifts the lid
On some long running scandal
Or conspiracy against the public
Which a heretofore pillar of society
Has perpetrated

Those gotcha moments
Facilitated by modern technology
Through the use of mobile data
Phone call history and activity
Monitoring.
Switch off to remain invisible!

But – perhaps the best gotcha moment
Is when it tumbles to us that there are times
When such an exposure of our own life
Might not easily withstand scrutiny
So others might think of us that this is
Their gotcha moment!

Ken Fisher

Walking the Dog – By Oliver Fisher

Walking The Dog

Her shaky hands grip  my lead and I can sense her nervous need.
I bark, but she is distracted. Hood up, eyes forward.
My owner reaches in her pocket and frantically opens one of her boxes.
Those black boxes control her actions and the white paper cylinders keep her distracted.
She does not look even though I bark. Hood up, eyes forward. She is blind.
I wonder, would she still take me out. In the rain and wind and snow.
If her need was not quite so
It seems as though she can not go an hour or so without that antidote.
I stare at my owner, it’s painful to watch and I do not understand
I bark again and this time she stops. She knows she should.
‘Run’ she says, but she’s been running too.
Click, click. It breaks me. It fixes her.
She drags, drags and drags again. My lead is short now, yet still she drags.
And once the ember finally dies and her hands stop shaking I see in her eyes.
My owner’s at ease once again. Until the next time I need walking.

Oliver Fisher

 

It’s Okay not to be Okay

It’s Okay not to be Okay

When the world expects to see you grin
And inside you are feeling grim
Remember there’s no obligation
That you must help to lift the nation

Even when others are on a high
And all you can do is simply sigh
You must be honest every day
It’s Okay not to be Okay

When we no longer can be  hearty
The life and soul of any party
It’s time for truth to be expressed
When sadly we just feel depressed

Too oft we think we must perform
Hold on to the expected norm
Our emoji must not frown
No-one wants us to be down

Why should we be so guilt ridden?
Darker moods from all be hidden
Simply ‘cause it won’t appeal
To be honest how we feel

So let toleration be expanded
As of our emotions we are candid
If right now we’re far from Okay
It is Okay for us to say

Ken Fisher

Remembrance 2020

Remembrance 2020

[Posted on Remembrance Sunday 2020
in an anxious yet hopeful world
facing huge challenges of political uncertainty,
threats from a global pandemic and climate change]

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Today is a time for remembering
Thinking back to those dark days of war
When life was uncertain for all
And for some, death was an imminent prospect

But few living today have much memory
Of the years of conflict when hostilities raged
And although warfare still encircles the world
Our experience of it is mediated by TV images

And yet we have an uncomfortable feeling
That despite efforts to unite the nations
There is a persistent climate of arm-wrestling
Between the great powers who eyeball each other

The Cold War brought with it the four-minute-warning
Not long to compose our minds for oblivion!
But presently, although we hope our future might stretch for decades,
We cannot quite eliminate the nagging uncertainty for our destiny

However, for today, we give thanks
For all those who bought our freedom
And pledge to strive to maintain
Such fragile peace as we possess

Ken Fisher

Moments

Moments

Existent in time
Indeterminate
Enjoy or endure
A fleeting pleasure, a pang of pain
Why can’t we live in them?
Instead of rushing headlong
Seize them, savour them, delight in them
Make the most of them
The sum of all those moments
Biography

Ken Fisher

Halloween – 2020

Halloween [Saturday 31 Oct 2020]

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Trick or Treat I hear them ask – what should I reply?
As on the threshold of my door the guisers I espy
To ward them off I pay their price as if it were a ransom
With fruits and sweets and even nuts a gift that I thought handsome

But before I let my ‘guests’ depart I ask them in return
What entertainment will they provide, what act will they perform?
It is in times like these I find that suddenly they’re silent
Unable to convince me that Britain has still Got Talent!

However, eventually together they muster up some courage
One even recites a bawdy poem – not really with much flourish
Two more play on the ‘air guitar’ a stimulating riff
While others mouth imagined lyrics, standing there quite stiff

The performance duly over towards the door they shuffle
And in sharing out the Treats try to avoid a scuffle
It was then I notice their costumes quite exotic
Theatrical to say the least – some even psychedelic

These young celebrants in this ancient hallowed festival
Of evil spirits, ghosts and some things quite heretical
Are really just out to have fun with all their many friends
And despite their spooky garb they bring no ill intent

So when our doorbell rings with the challenge ‘Trick or Treat’?
Let’s welcome them with open heart – and with a smile do greet
‘Cause on the eve of All Saints’ Day it’s best that we been seen
To welcome visitors e’re so strange on this night of Halloween

But in this year of the ‘plague’ guising’s quite a task
How do you perform when your face is covered by that pesky mask?
Yet let’s not spurn all visitors amidst  threatening pandemic
Try not to make your welcome seem quite so anaemic!

Ken Fisher

 

Soap

Soap

 

Soap
Without it how could we keep clean?
Attend to bodily hygiene
These days its reputation rises
As the doctor now advises

Wash your hands with diligence
Against the virus build defence
Scrub the palms and ‘tween the fingers
Ensure no danger can there linger

This product ‘ere so commonplace
Yields spotless hands and shining face
And limbs and torso don’t exclude
Unless you feel a downright prude!

Soap’s not for your body alone
Lots of uses round the home
It often comes in liquid form
Multi-functions to perform

Whatever be our cleaning wishes
Grubby floors or daily dishes
Clothes fall victim to the dirt
Smart fashion wear to cheap t-shirts

In the machine’s rotating drum
Clothes and soap together turn
And when the purging is complete
We’re summoned by that welcome ‘beep’

Whether in wash-hand basin or the sink
Just take a little time to think
Without the work of common soap
Of cleanliness we lose all hope!

Ken Fisher

Clocks Go Back 2020

Clocks Go Back 2020

The days are getting shorter, the nights are drawing in
In no time at all we will arrive at Halloween
Darkness is descending, as we struggle through the gloom
But perhaps this year no guisers draped in their costume

‘Ere we reach that ‘hallowed’ eve the clocks must be turned back
Between Saturday and Sunday an hour they give us back
For last Spring those same clocks were moved an hour forward
To rectify that change now the movement will be rearward

It seems to me this time of year might make you feel depressed
And sometimes negative feelings can be manifest
Some people think this clock change is the harbinger of doom
And thoughts of hibernation fill their hearts with gloom

But most of us will soon accept the changing of the light
Brighter in the morning, then earlier dark at night
Nothing’s really changed, it’s ourselves who’ve played a trick
Tinkering with the clock hands but letting it still tick

So with the changing of the hour we revert to Greenwich Mean
British Summer Time left behind till Spring’s green shoots are seen
But at least we know now where we are, the timing quite official
No fiddling with the hours of day or night, no changes artificial

Of late there has been even greater pressure
Which amidst Brexit could cause great displeasure
Demands that we align with Europe using single and double BST
Unpopular notion for those who from continental shackles would us free

And this year, if politicians don’t soon somehow fix it
We are all confronted with close impending Brexit!
And if that’s not sufficient to put you in a panic
What about the menace of this engulfing pandemic?

But perhaps it isn’t right to conclude on such a sour note
The human spirit is still surely full of hope
Let optimism prevail whatever lies ahead
Starting on Sunday with an extra hour in bed!

Ken Fisher