Modern Job Titles

Modern Job titles

 

I am tempted to say ‘you can’t be serious’!
When I hear of new jobs with titles mysterious
‘Chief Impact Officer’ for our Royal Prince
So lofty a role, it’s bound to convince

I suppose if your’re no longer an HRH
You need something to put ice on your cake
And there is little doubt he’ll consider the fact
That somehow he still needs to make real impact

While trawling articles in the national press
I came across job titles that are bound to impress
But the meaning of these seem rather obscure
What the holders actually do I am quite unsure

I am hoping that someone out there can make clear
The vital role of the new ‘Happiness Engineer’
And if the ‘Brand Warrior’ looms into sight
It does not signify we are in for a fight

Some businesses employ an on-board psychiatrist
But a new version has emerged – the ‘Dream Alchemist’
Corporate fluffery uses different approaches
Providing work for those gurus – ‘Lifestyle Coaches’

Virtue signalling is apparently all the rage
In woke capitalism, the spirit of the age
Hence the departure from jobs with any real work
Demanding graft that really might hurt

Perhaps it’s just me but I like to know what is meant
By a job specification full of puzzlement
The terms should be devoid of opaque illusion
Thus removing  all doubt and confusion

Recruitment agencies must now be creative
Inventing job descriptions quite innovative
Coaxing clients to apply for roles enigmatic
Success only assured to the most charismatic

Ken Fisher

Wokeplace

Wokeplace
[The Modern Workplace]

In the modern wokeplace I rather regret
You must watch what you say in case you upset
Your colleagues sensitive to today’s social issues
Non-PC opinions may make them reach for the tissues!

Of course few would deny that we must be aware
That society’s divisions are often unfair
And to promote justice we all should endeavour
That no class of people suffer disfavour

But I wonder if perhaps it has all gone too far
Historical figures removed from the repertoire
Of those who heretofore we all have respected
Their toppled statues lying there look dejected

The history books a rewrite require
Heroes to whose ideals we should no longer aspire
How have the mighty fallen the wokeists declare
Ignoring our pleas that this might be unfair

In the wokeplace there is a new atmosphere
Where any criticism may well induce fear
Woke opinions are strong on the concerns of today
We cannot ignore them or try to downplay

No doubt woke values deserve consideration
Race, sex, equality, slave-like  discrimination
Social media has ensured these issues prevail
Public reaction on a quite momentous scale

I simply make a plea for moderation
No knee-jerk reaction across the nation
Don’t vilify the pioneers of our great institutions
Or force us all living today to take their retribution

Ken Fisher

Woke World

Woke World

Woke: definition – Alert to injustice in society

Most might declare that speech should be ‘free’
But how far that should go you might not agree
Should we always consider the feelings of others?
How our words might affect all our sisters and brothers

And not just our words but our actions too
Our deeds that with meaning we therefore imbue
The words of our lips and our bodies’ exertion
Fruits of our efforts, our lives expressing

In recent times the concept of ‘woke’
Strong feelings of injustice now evoke
Not just wrong doings in this present age
But perpetrated by ancestors in our heritage

It seems that colonial conquests in far flung lands
Demand expiation by our modern hands
Historical ventures, voyages to discover
Require our atonement their status to recover

Modern ‘wokists’ alert us to time honoured street names
Derived from eminent citizens who’s worth we acclaimed
Their dark deeds now exposed brings them denigration
Complete overturning of their fine reputation

Politicians, Poets, Pioneers, Knights of the Realm
By their imperialist exploits the earth overwhelmed
Time now to do penance for world domination
Let’s all take the knee, this hubristic nation

We all must learn to be truly humble
Applaud as proud statues made to crumble
Slave traders rightfully vilified
Acknowledge the blood of all who died

Doubtless the intention of the worldwide woke movement
In rampant discrimination to secure much improvement
A worthy ambition in this modern age
But why of times past must there be so much rage?

To reappraise history a worthwhile endeavour
But must we take blame for all evil whenever?
Acknowledge what’s passed is the best we can do
A more honourable path in future pursue

Meantime help to build a world more equitable
Discrimination and prejudice no longer inevitable
Thus the woke movement will eventually achieve
The widespread acclaim that it yearns to receive

Ken Fisher

Gobbledegook

Gobbledegook

No matter how hard I try
To pierce the impenetrable
To fathom the who or why
Make sense of the unintelligible

The problem is language obscure
Using terms utterly recondite
Employed as if quite de jure
But devoid of any clear light

Gobbledegook is a device
Intended to increase prestige
So that when you get any advice
You will acknowledge true expertise

But the problem then seems to be
No matter how many the words
It sheds even less light for me
And you may find it quite absurd

Have you ever tried to make sense
Of a modern job application?
Terms defying all common-sense
No clue to the real occupation

Strategic plans are quite renowned
To result in much obfuscation
In management-speak they abound
‘Road maps’ with a vague destination!

All this clever sleight of hand
Spawned the profession of ‘consultant’
They have developed their own pricey brand
To make jobs for executives now redundant

In the world of the academic
It is vital to be thinking profound
In their lofty submissions polemic
Opacity with mystery compound

In every field jargon seems to triumph
Theology, Astronomy, Medicine, Mathematics
It sounds like some professional alliance
Our ignorance their intended contrivance

It would seem if they simplify
That the layperson might understand
Making sense of that who and that why
The giddy heights they’d no longer command

Thus gobbledegook has proliferated
Plain ideas wrapped up in disguise
Our plea is to be liberated
Then they might open our eyes!

Ken Fisher

Stooshie

Stooshie

[An uproar or commotion, or a minor row of sorts]

Here’s a word of which the English may be unaware
One of those obscure terms which we might share
It’s used to describe a row or a commotion
An argument with signs of stirred emotion

It’s not quite as serious as all-out war
And any fisticuffs we would deplore
More like a skirmish of the verbal kind
Where opponents are readily maligned

Stooshies can arise at any time or place
Sometimes only two contenders face to face
At others the arena is on a grander scale
Unparliamentary language used opponents to impale

A cause celebre might well a stooshie generate
Or some long-held grudge cause others to berate
Or perhaps just even some minor irritation
The trigger for much unnecessary vexation

Stooshies, perhaps depending on the situation
May be of short or quite prolonged duration
Perpetual stooshies are really a vendetta
Likened to the plot of some tragic operetta

Stooshies, on the whole, are best avoided
Deep divisions thus remain unexploited
Endeavour to ignore all discourse acrimonious
Conducting your affairs with speech harmonious

Ken Fisher

The Motherboard by Oliver Fisher

The Motherboard by Oliver Fisher

A new kind of special, previously familiar
But long since discovered and lived.
Lived fully, to live and move on and be-
happy as Larry and Larry is happy…
When he’s with you.

And in the easter hay, the sun
Reveals a light that brightens none
But turned against itself and won
The dream is had by one more than one.

An entangled tunnel of twists and turns
That strangle the current and commit forceful expansion.
But I’m relaxing and peaceful, blissful tears are streaming…
As the years are passing.

I’ll pour out the old sludge from my blue rusty bucket
Polish and dust so a new reflection reflects
I need to care, I’m done saying **** it-
Click into place and my network connects.

Oliver Fisher

What does It Matter – Now?

What Does it Matter – Now?

 

What does it matter if you failed to win prizes
And never achieved even modest success
If your daily life produced no surprises
Few are the assets that you now possess

What does it matter if you gained no promotion
While others soared up to the giddy heights
You’re never aspired to swim the wide ocean
Or with the astronauts take a space flight

What does it matter if your artistic talent
Rarely succeeded the audience to thrill
No masterpiece came from your colour palette
No musical charms from your keyboard skills

What does it matter if you had no literary flair
Writing and poetry not your natural gift
Turgid plots, obscure verses simply made you despair
And to operatic arias you gave short shrift

What does it matter if you struggled with maths
History and geography left you equally cold
Failed to conquer science’s complex paths
And foreign grammar left you appalled

What does it matter if you never were famous
You didn’t progress to a dazzling career
People might claim you were rather aimless
A somewhat boring existence from year to year

Well this litany seems a little depressing
Life does matter, and we all must strive
To make the most of our gifts and our blessings
Above all the gift of this wonderful life

And we should not offer this lame excuse
That nothing matters in life when surely it must
Because we know in our heart that this is the truth
And to defect from that fact is a breach of our trust

Yes, it does matter, as we value each day
The moment provides us the opportunity
In small acts of love, and kind words we say
Together to build true community

And especially now in this pandemic year
As we mourn the loss of a settled past
Grant us the courage to set aside fear
Hold hope in our hearts to remain steadfast

Ken Fisher

Thinking

Thinking

 

Thinking
Blessing or curse, this cerebral faculty?
That power of reasoning
Taking us beyond other sentient beings
Imagination opening vistas of joy
Or reminiscence of past nightmares

Thinking
Granting us the capacity to calculate
To build models of reality in our head
Perception prompting motivation
Cogitation before engagement
Reflection after commitment

Thinking
That power to recall fond memories
Of family life with all its blessings and burdens
Of working life with all its strivings and frustrations
Of social life enhanced by common interest
Of spiritual life and the domain of contemplation

Thinking
Domicile of the theoretical
Habitation of the speculative
Residence of abstract thought
Cathedral for religion
Library for literature

Thinking
The arbiter of mental well-being
The warder of imprisoning phobias
But also the herald of anticipation
The lovers’ beating hearts
Visions of united bliss

Thinking
Blessing or curse, this cerebral faculty?
Vanquished only by dementia or death
In life, no escape from thought
Neither sleep nor meditation
Can purge us of this turbulent force

Ken Fisher

Grandparents by Oliver Fisher

Grandparents

Twice detached yet the closest connection
A mighty rock in a windy world, full of noise
The bond of heritage and DNA that lasts eternally
A reason to be.

Memories from childhood, amplified by your love
Radiate golden positivity that drives me forward
Catalysed by undying support and confidence
Through life.

A tall and long standing relationship
Symbolised by outstretched arms
Ready to embrace and mentor
Lovingly.

You are so wise, I idolise
And as I rise I realise
That you’re the rock within
My eyes.

Oliver Fisher

Gotcha

Gotcha

That gotcha moment
When the radio host triumphantly
Traps a politician
By trawling up a quote where
He has now completely contradicted
His earlier recorded claims

That gotcha moment
When exaggerated advertising promises
About some wonder product
Or miracle cure
Are exposed as snake oil
A mere puff
By investigative journalism

That gotcha moment
When a two-timing husband
Comes out of a pub with his paramour
And unexpectedly bumps into
His daughter in the street
As she is returning from
The Brownies

That gotcha moment
When Amazon delivers
That awaited package to us
Which turns out to be
A cheap trinket
And not the anticipated
Wonder gizmo

That gotcha moment
When the press lifts the lid
On some long running scandal
Or conspiracy against the public
Which a heretofore pillar of society
Has perpetrated

Those gotcha moments
Facilitated by modern technology
Through the use of mobile data
Phone call history and activity
Monitoring.
Switch off to remain invisible!

But – perhaps the best gotcha moment
Is when it tumbles to us that there are times
When such an exposure of our own life
Might not easily withstand scrutiny
So others might think of us that this is
Their gotcha moment!

Ken Fisher

Walking the Dog – By Oliver Fisher

Walking The Dog

Her shaky hands grip  my lead and I can sense her nervous need.
I bark, but she is distracted. Hood up, eyes forward.
My owner reaches in her pocket and frantically opens one of her boxes.
Those black boxes control her actions and the white paper cylinders keep her distracted.
She does not look even though I bark. Hood up, eyes forward. She is blind.
I wonder, would she still take me out. In the rain and wind and snow.
If her need was not quite so
It seems as though she can not go an hour or so without that antidote.
I stare at my owner, it’s painful to watch and I do not understand
I bark again and this time she stops. She knows she should.
‘Run’ she says, but she’s been running too.
Click, click. It breaks me. It fixes her.
She drags, drags and drags again. My lead is short now, yet still she drags.
And once the ember finally dies and her hands stop shaking I see in her eyes.
My owner’s at ease once again. Until the next time I need walking.

Oliver Fisher

 

It’s Okay not to be Okay

It’s Okay not to be Okay

When the world expects to see you grin
And inside you are feeling grim
Remember there’s no obligation
That you must help to lift the nation

Even when others are on a high
And all you can do is simply sigh
You must be honest every day
It’s Okay not to be Okay

When we no longer can be  hearty
The life and soul of any party
It’s time for truth to be expressed
When sadly we just feel depressed

Too oft we think we must perform
Hold on to the expected norm
Our emoji must not frown
No-one wants us to be down

Why should we be so guilt ridden?
Darker moods from all be hidden
Simply ‘cause it won’t appeal
To be honest how we feel

So let toleration be expanded
As of our emotions we are candid
If right now we’re far from Okay
It is Okay for us to say

Ken Fisher