Election Fever 2021

Election Fever 2021

On the eve of the election, events at fever pitch
Candidates praying erring doubters will not switch
The party faithful are not the real concern
It’s the floating voters whose support for which they yearn

Some former MSP’s hope for a safe return
New aspirants desire their pleas we will not spurn
Right now everything seems in such disarray
Who knows who’ll emerge victor from this turgid fray?

This time the election has a rather different flavour
For some of us the taste of it we rather would not savour
Those of an Independent mind demanding separation
Others who love their Britishness have a sense of desperation

New parties and new faces appearing on the scene
Bright aspirants and even old ‘has beens’
Candidates don’t seem to be in short supply
Such zealots are certainly not shy

Due to Covid this year it’s a somewhat different poll
The second voting paper looks like a toilet roll
I hope you understand what’s being asked of you
What parties you will espouse, and those you will eschew

Some of us have cast our vote well in advance
Of missing the polling day we would not take a chance
Others, no doubt, will leave it very late
Perhaps this is because they prevaricate

By and large Brexit’s been put to bed
Although the wrangling is certainly not dead
We’ve heard all the latest arguments, we’ve had it up to here
So much exposure, we’re almost reduced to tears

This time Green issues are of great concern
Politicians advocate we take action firm
To counter the march of climate change
Develop painful habits we will find quite strange

It is suggested that many voters will act tactically
Hoping to secure their aim by means impractically
Thus by devious methods achieving what they want
And spike the guns of the candidates that they don’t

The broadcasters too have weighed into the fight
Much of their questioning seems simply spite
They rejoiced in making all their victims squirm
Any weakness shown they loved to reaffirm

Then the Open Forum TV extravaganzas
Were presented like an information bonanza
But as each participant talked across the others
Any clarification of views was thus quickly smothered

Truth and trust seemed to be under examination
Politicians being asked to give their explanation
Each candidate quizzed if they could say why
Truth and trust were now in such short supply!

Anyway, soon it will all be over – thank goodness we say
Tomorrow’s long hours will bring judgement day
So by Saturday we should know the fate of our nation
In the meantime we must wait in anxious consternation

Ken Fisher

Open Wide!

Open Wide!

This morning at nine I am off to the dentist
This lady is long past being an apprentice
I’ll jump up on the chair, she’ll begin the task
Of course not forgetting to take off my mask

The lamp shines down to light up the scene
Showing the gaps where some teeth may have been
There is no point in treating those that are lost
At least they won’t be added to the final cost

Before my last visit a large filling fell out
That’s what my appointment is all about
Apparently I am going to need a new crown
The estimated cost has brought on a frown

Next I am told you need an injection
Not from Covid is this one giving protection
Two Astra jabs are equal to none
When it’s my tender gums they need to make numb

X-rays can see things that no-one else can
I am surprised they don’t ask for a whole body scan
And such oral techniques are a regular feature
I am unable to smile as my gaping jaws they picture

To do the job they must take an impression
To ensure the new crown fits in the depression
I don’t yet know what expensive stuff’s being used
And such technical detail just leaves me confused

Now her face takes on an expression of gravity
As drilling begins to gouge out the cavity
Suction is applied to keep everything dry
If my mouth wasn’t blocked you might hear me cry!

While the dentist wields those whining drills in motion
The nurse is busy preparing strange potions
Sometimes to my mouth pokes in strange things
Perhaps timers, that give an ominous ping

Dentistry now has gone all high tech
Which I suppose we should not regret
Their approach is much more sympathetic
To improve our appearance it’s considered cosmetic

So if you want to impress with your gleaming smile
Be prepared to submit to their charms for a while
When they say to you, please open wide
It’s  to your bank balance this request is implied!

Ken Fisher

A Word in Your Ear

A Word in Your Ear

A word in your ear!
Some friendly advice
Nothing to fear
A word to the wise

But perhaps that word in the ear
Has a critical tone
I don’t want to hear
Just leave me alone

Yet sometimes the word
Is worth listening to
Not meant to hurt
All to the good

Now I can’t get near
Must keep social distance
No risk to your ear
No need for resistance

So no word in your ear
To cheer or despair
Bring laughter or tear
Or friendship impair

Ken Fisher

Taking Umbridge

Taking Umbridge

UMBRIDGE

Umbridge is something I’d rather not take
Even if just for harmony’s sake
But sometimes by others I am deeply offended
By their words which I feel cannot be defended

Now and then I am sure you feel aggrieved
By untrue statements that leave you quite peeved
Little white lies that bring on vexation
Hiding the truth of the situation

A description of something, their own critique
Prompting in you a feeling of pique
What they have said is misrepresentation
Devoid of the facts of the situation

We may take umbridge when things are unfair
When we have been denied our rightful share
Too small a slice of the birthday cake
No share in the will bringing huge heartache!

Sometimes umbridge is taken at the slightest infringement
Resulting in quite disproportionate resentment
It would be better if we might tolerate
Not allowing minor issues to quickly inflate

And the question is, does it do any good?
Tell me how taking umbridge ever would
Bring change to that perplexing situation
And resolve all resentful aggravation

Perhaps the response that’s more mature
Averting umbridge that might endure
Simply adopt a smile so benign
And the portion of umbridge quite simply decline

Ken Fisher

Scrapes and Scratches, Bumps and Dents

Scrapes and Scratches, Bumps and Dents

When your new car suffers a bump or a dent
In your mind it becomes a major event
We know we really should not be so worried
But our pride and joy has somehow been sullied

Fortunately out there are experts galore
Whose websites are keen for you to explore
Offering to restore the car to perfection
Where all defects avoid any detection

But no matter how small the dent seems to you
Other panels, we are told, are affected too
So a tiny scratch or a minor scrape
Incurs a large bill that you cannot escape

So just take care when driving and parking
If unscathed by bumps you would be arriving
And thus you will avoid those scratches and dents
Which to the eye of the beholder can give such offence

Ken Fisher

Modern Job Titles

Modern Job titles

 

I am tempted to say ‘you can’t be serious’!
When I hear of new jobs with titles mysterious
‘Chief Impact Officer’ for our Royal Prince
So lofty a role, it’s bound to convince

I suppose if your’re no longer an HRH
You need something to put ice on your cake
And there is little doubt he’ll consider the fact
That somehow he still needs to make real impact

While trawling articles in the national press
I came across job titles that are bound to impress
But the meaning of these seem rather obscure
What the holders actually do I am quite unsure

I am hoping that someone out there can make clear
The vital role of the new ‘Happiness Engineer’
And if the ‘Brand Warrior’ looms into sight
It does not signify we are in for a fight

Some businesses employ an on-board psychiatrist
But a new version has emerged – the ‘Dream Alchemist’
Corporate fluffery uses different approaches
Providing work for those gurus – ‘Lifestyle Coaches’

Virtue signalling is apparently all the rage
In woke capitalism, the spirit of the age
Hence the departure from jobs with any real work
Demanding graft that really might hurt

Perhaps it’s just me but I like to know what is meant
By a job specification full of puzzlement
The terms should be devoid of opaque illusion
Thus removing  all doubt and confusion

Recruitment agencies must now be creative
Inventing job descriptions quite innovative
Coaxing clients to apply for roles enigmatic
Success only assured to the most charismatic

Ken Fisher

The Tyranny of the Password

The Tyranny of the Password

To compare this with Covid may seem quite absurd
But I’m almost as scared of the missing password
When we cannot remember these numbers and letters
Our hands are tied as if by tight fetters

These digital door keys prevent interference
Meant to protect our bank balance from disappearance
To the hands of some hacker of ill repute
Intent on swiping away all our loot

So with every aspect of computer filing
Requests for a password sets us compiling
A secret code to keep data secure
Safely concealed there for evermore

It is then that we need to be quite inventive
Complex passwords can be preventive
Of those who would all our secrets expose
Our facts and figures that no one else knows

The names of long dead pets, or gran’s date of birth
That primary school teacher if we think she was worth
Of incorporation into a password obscure
A combination that might long endure

This all sounds fine as far as it goes
Except when we need to enter the password and letters transpose
Or worst of all we suffer from total amnesia
Our brain dormant as through anaesthesia

We try to recall where the password record is hidden
We search our machine but all access forbidden
The more times we try the wrong combination
Now struck by panic and mighty frustration

In the end we may have all hope to abandon
All this computing is far too demanding
Just keep all your records in a box under your bed
Where password tyranny can  no longer cause dread

Ken Fisher

Wokeplace

Wokeplace
[The Modern Workplace]

In the modern wokeplace I rather regret
You must watch what you say in case you upset
Your colleagues sensitive to today’s social issues
Non-PC opinions may make them reach for the tissues!

Of course few would deny that we must be aware
That society’s divisions are often unfair
And to promote justice we all should endeavour
That no class of people suffer disfavour

But I wonder if perhaps it has all gone too far
Historical figures removed from the repertoire
Of those who heretofore we all have respected
Their toppled statues lying there look dejected

The history books a rewrite require
Heroes to whose ideals we should no longer aspire
How have the mighty fallen the wokeists declare
Ignoring our pleas that this might be unfair

In the wokeplace there is a new atmosphere
Where any criticism may well induce fear
Woke opinions are strong on the concerns of today
We cannot ignore them or try to downplay

No doubt woke values deserve consideration
Race, sex, equality, slave-like  discrimination
Social media has ensured these issues prevail
Public reaction on a quite momentous scale

I simply make a plea for moderation
No knee-jerk reaction across the nation
Don’t vilify the pioneers of our great institutions
Or force us all living today to take their retribution

Ken Fisher

Photo Album

Photo Album

 

Old photo albums
We miss them in the digital age
Those bulky dossiers
Dark coloured pages
Festooned with corner fixings
Holding our life history
And Large files of plastic folders
Stuffed with printed photos
Sometimes tidy
Often chaotic

And yet it’s all there
Baby Joan’s first tottering step
Tom and Ian cavorting in the paddling pool
“Our home” in the 1950’s
Looking ramshackle
But why did we ever leave?
Grandpa’s birthday
In his chair, a little tipsy
Time for a snooze
Caught him unaware

But times move on
Snapping no longer limited to
A Kodak or Ilford spool
Of 24 or 36
And then the glories of colour!
Almost dazzling
But you still had to wait
Until your creations
Returned from the processor
Unless you had your own darkroom

Now all this restriction and mystery is gone
Infinite snapping, instant results
Cameras now high-powered computers
Phones not just for your ears but for your eyes
Abundant selfies for the self-obsessed
But where are the photo albums of today?
Not in the book but in the cloud
More images than ever for the world to see
No paper corners to hold our prints
Our images released to all the world

Ken Fisher

The News, Mostly, Is Bad

The News, Mostly, Is Bad [by Oliver Fisher]

The news mostly is bad,
And I butter my toast just the same,
When did dinner table chat,
Turn to facts and stats of shame?
When did he who says, step back?
And let this illness break and crack.
Plague and p-poison the population,
I see no light in blinding black.

Wet air scares me these days
And I turn to cloth for protection
But chafed ears can be no match,
To those who face eventual infection.
Surprise, surprise – Now sanitise.
Avoid all contact, even eyes.
Suited girls and suited guys,
Seem to now spout bumbling lies.

The reservoir of human spirit is desolate and dry,
Once valued friendships have now
Reduced, into distanced passers by.
In the streets, I lurk in shadows
And never let my face be shown.
Human embrace now means gloves, and
Cover ups and elbow bones.

The news, mostly, is bad-
I suppose I can take comfort in that.
Saving lives can be so easy-
When you stay at home, subdued gnat.
Chat online and exercise,
Too many food deliveries,
Zooming through the 2020s
With dates in mind and tiers and pleas.

Oliver Fisher

Woke World

Woke World

Woke: definition – Alert to injustice in society

Most might declare that speech should be ‘free’
But how far that should go you might not agree
Should we always consider the feelings of others?
How our words might affect all our sisters and brothers

And not just our words but our actions too
Our deeds that with meaning we therefore imbue
The words of our lips and our bodies’ exertion
Fruits of our efforts, our lives expressing

In recent times the concept of ‘woke’
Strong feelings of injustice now evoke
Not just wrong doings in this present age
But perpetrated by ancestors in our heritage

It seems that colonial conquests in far flung lands
Demand expiation by our modern hands
Historical ventures, voyages to discover
Require our atonement their status to recover

Modern ‘wokists’ alert us to time honoured street names
Derived from eminent citizens who’s worth we acclaimed
Their dark deeds now exposed brings them denigration
Complete overturning of their fine reputation

Politicians, Poets, Pioneers, Knights of the Realm
By their imperialist exploits the earth overwhelmed
Time now to do penance for world domination
Let’s all take the knee, this hubristic nation

We all must learn to be truly humble
Applaud as proud statues made to crumble
Slave traders rightfully vilified
Acknowledge the blood of all who died

Doubtless the intention of the worldwide woke movement
In rampant discrimination to secure much improvement
A worthy ambition in this modern age
But why of times past must there be so much rage?

To reappraise history a worthwhile endeavour
But must we take blame for all evil whenever?
Acknowledge what’s passed is the best we can do
A more honourable path in future pursue

Meantime help to build a world more equitable
Discrimination and prejudice no longer inevitable
Thus the woke movement will eventually achieve
The widespread acclaim that it yearns to receive

Ken Fisher