Signature

Signature

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Watching ‘The Donald’ make his mark on documents official
Adding his signature to edicts advisory or judicial
Reminds me of the importance of when I sign on the line
I confirm that what is written is then truly mine

Perhaps within our land the signature most notable
Is that of Elizabeth our sovereign so admirable
Thus Acts of Parliament duly come into force
When Her Majesty assents and does them formally endorse

But the word signature has other applications
And is used in many differing situations
Thus TV and Radio shows are sure to emphasise
Their arrival with a tune that we all recognize

And if to watch the Bake Off was your fondest wish
Observing competitors concoct their signature dish
And of course if we wish to use a cheque to pay a bill
We sign our name confirming payment’s our own will

And the legal world still needs us to sign our name
On contracts and wills or an insurance claim
And if it’s your intention your promises to pledge
In marriage or mortgage, signing you simply cannot hedge!

Now that handwriting seems just about extinct
How do we prove we are unique and distinct?
Perhaps only by signing our personal name
Our identity to the world we still seek to make plain

On reflection it seems some hand-writing is so poor
And especially the signature which looks totally obscure
To me it’s not surprising the smart card’s usurped the pen
And perhaps those cryptic scribbles won’t e’er be seen again

Ken Fisher

 

The Swiss Army Knife

The Swiss Army Knife

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[Verses in praise of this multi-purpose tool]

 

The Swiss Army Knife is quite cutting edge
No limit to the uses to which it can stretch
Such a wide variety of functional tools
It might be described a cask full of jewels

The makers have offered several sizes
Tiny versions to huge ones brim full of surprises
There are blades just for cutting a string or a thread
And others could produce the proverbial sliced bread

There are hooks for extracting stones from a shoe
Sawblades for slicing through wood or bamboo
Pliers for those who aspire to try dentistry
And scissors for some who would prefer surgery

Gadgets for opening bottles so tight
Driving in screws made an effort so light
Indeed no matter the task, or whatever the trade
The Swiss Army Knife has a suitable blade

One point to note, which can be a snag
At airport check-ins hide it inside your bag
As the authorities might feel you have evil intent
To carrying a knife they give no assent

However, despite any such petty restrictions
Don’t spurn this tool and its applications
Because you never know what pops up in this life
And you are better prepared with a Swiss Army Knife!

Ken Fisher

[This poem is published with the prior permission of
Victorinox, manufacturers of the Swiss Army Knife]

Danger – Chilly Water

Danger – Chilly Water

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I went for a swim in the public baths
I thought it might do me good
But the water felt like an icy blast
And my swearing was quite rude

Nobody warned me of the shock I would get
As I plunged straight into the water
It was an experience that I cannot forget
In future I’ll wait till it’s hotter

So if by an urge you are suddenly seized
To leap into some lido or pool
By this temptation do not be deceived
Or you may seethe while trying to be ‘cool’

Ken Fisher

Hoping for the Best

Hoping for the Best

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There is little that can be added to what’s been said already
All that we can hope for is that the ship of state keeps steady
‘The Donald’ will be the President number forty-five
Let’s pray that our hopes for world peace still remain alive

After all, he has proved in the past he can run great enterprises
So perhaps all the vicissitudes of government will bring no surprises
Of course at governance he may still be an apprentice
If he told himself “you’re fired” that would be momentous

However, it seems that from today’s grand inauguration
He becomes the most powerful man in that mighty nation
And throughout the world his influence will travel far and wide
May humility and wisdom yet in his heart abide

Ken Fisher

 

Electric Blanket

Electric Blanket

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One of the aspects of these dark winter nights
When we all bemoan loss of warmth and of light
Is the prospect of retiring early to bed
When the thought of cold sheets we assuredly dread

However the appliance of science has come to our aid
And at bedtime we need be no longer dismayed
The electric blanket has brought us relief
So climbing to bed won’t ever cause grief

As we tuck ourself in between blankets and sheets
Heat envelopes us all from shoulders to feet
And if we want to maximize the full size of the bed
We can duck right down, even cover our head

Freud might suggest thoughts of return to the womb
But our cosy bed probably offers more room
For tucked up in bed we feel so safe and so warm
Just as our mother kept us free from harm

Thus cosseted we languish surrounded by heat
And soon we are gently wafted to sleep
All the world’s problems slip quietly away
As we are renewed to face a new day

There is just one problem that you may discover
And from the shock of it may take time to recover
And surely it will leave you quite woebegone
If earlier you forgot to switch blanket on!

Ken Fisher

 

See also:  https://thebardofkelvindale.com/2018/01/05/hot-water-bottle/

New Beginnings

New Beginnings

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New year, new beginnings
It is the time for resolutions
Prevaricate no longer
Act now let’s ‘carpe diem’

Clean slate wiped and ready
Freed from choices of the past
Poised to draft a whole new image
Facing the future with resolve

As this new year slowly wakens
Before many days have dawned
Let each rise to the challenge
Of a new beginning to our life

Ken Fisher

At The Threshold of the Year

At the Threshold of the Year – 2017

[First posted at the end of 2015]

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Time is sometimes called the Fourth Dimension
Length, breadth and height the other three
But time can fill our hearts with apprehension
No wonder that it’s often said to flee

‘Tempus fugit ‘ we plead as ready-made excuse
When everyday concerns and never-ending cares
A sense of guilt and failure does induce
Our quest for peace and freedom thus impaired

But time cannot be stalled; its steady progress will not falter
It’s march like Roman legions moving ever onward
Along straight roads, their fixed direction does not alter
The army moves in steps that take them ever forward

And so it is that in these dark fading days of late December
As we approach the threshold of yet another year
Thoughts filled with joy and sorrow as we remember
Hopefulness for days ahead but not without our hidden fear

What lies just beyond the gate of this New Year?
We’ve been warned: ‘the past no guide to future performance’
Would life be simpler if the way ahead was clear?
Why do we ever have to seek for reassurance

And so as we peer into the void beyond this New Year’s Day
We simply must accept that unlike length or breadth or height
The realm of time brings with it ‘come what may’
Our prayer remains that faith and hope will bring us light

And so my friend step onward with a steady pace
Give thanks for many blessings in the past
Let love for life and all mankind your heart embrace
And to God’s providence our trust remain steadfast

Ken Fisher

 

In Between

In Between

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Right now we are in that no man’s land
Between Christmas and New Year
For some the party may still span
To fill the week with cheer

Extended families may need each day
For all their tribe to gather
To forget their work, take time to play
Their familial get together

Others find that these days between
Noel and what we call Hogmanay
A prompt to raid the cash machine
As on sales they splurge their money

Then there are those who realise
Due to excessive Christmas feasting
To call a halt it would be wise
And stop that endless bingeing

The obvious antidote to ever more excess
Is exercise of any kind, it’s bound to do you good
So if your slim figure you would like to repossess
Now is the time to avert your gaze from all tempting food

So there we are, a few timely reflections
On how to spend these days while we’re in suspension
Whatever is your choice, few can raise objections
If you just relax, lie back and say good-bye to tension

Ken Fisher

Christmas Morning

Christmas Morning

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The excitement of anticipation,
Children tip-toeing downstairs
In search of Santa’s bounty
The tearing open of those wrappings
The shrieks of pleasure as the long-awaited
Gifts are exposed

Mum and Dad come to find out if burglars
Have arrived to upset the household
The children squeal with joy as they
Show what Santa has delivered
Parents gasp conspiratorially
Admiring his awareness of all
That had been hoped for

Then the stockings are pillaged
Revealing their cache of treats and sweets
No longer just the time honoured fruit
The current Apple is probably a Mac!

After the intial excitement
Then parents too check to see
What Santa has done for them
In the hope that it might be more than
Socks or hankies – perhaps a spa break
Or a hamper full of goodies!

Then breakfast – don’t eat much
Leave space for the Christmas feast
The full works accompanied by the crackers
With their crafty little jokes – who thinks them up?
Indeed who needs philosophers?
The whole thing kept afloat by your favourite tipple
Remember to drink sensibly – especially the drivers

Traditional TV programmes will compete for those
Whose eyes will be glued to their new iPads
The Queen’s inspirational message muffled
By those ears stopped with headphones
Lambasted by the latest gaming wizardry
The traditional phone call to relatives
Superseded by a thousand tweets, Skypes, Face Time
Or whatever instant messages assail your privacy

Anyway that’s the modern Christmas
And of course not all will celebrate in happy families
Some choosing to be alone, others filled with memories
And yearning for the companions now gone from their life

And somewhere in the distant background is that stable
At Bethlehem, with the baby in the manger,
Still radiating the message of love
To every human soul in this angst-torn world

Ken Fisher

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Danger, Thin Ice!

Danger, Thin Ice!

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In the deep midwinter, this sign you may observe
Intended to ensure you’re safe, surely life preserve
Thin ice is a hazard, a threat without a doubt
Don’t risk a step upon it or else you may find out

But the danger of thin ice goes beyong just glassy lakes
It can refer to other risks that in our life we take
For at times we find ourselves quite unwisely heading
In ways just as dangerous as if on thin ice we’re treading

For example I wonder how often we have breached a moral rule
Or spoken thoughtless words or acted like a fool
Or pushed our luck too far when dealing with authority
Abandoning our usual inclination to conformity

At other times we have been known to make exaggerated claims
Of our abilities or talents, or skills at sport or games
But without doubt such lies, like the ice’s thin veneer
On close examination such boasts soon disappear

So whatever path your life may take here is my advice
Don’t tread anywhere where you might find you’re standing on thin ice
Tell the truth, follow the rules, act always with integrity
And you will find the ground beneath maintains its solidarity

Ken Fisher

CHRISTMAS CAROL – FOR PARTY PEOPLE

Christmas Carol – for Party People

[A re-posting of a poem issued at Christmas time in the last two years]

[Sing this to the tune of ‘Thou didst leave thy throne and thy kingly crown’]

CHRISTMAS CAROL - FOR PARTY PEOPLE

We left God alone with his throne and his crown
For we had little time to spare
We were too busy spending our hard earned cash
Buying gifts and grooming our hair
For it’s party time and we must look good
As we’re all heading off to town

But then someone reminds us of that stable bare
With the Holy Child in the manger
And the ox and ass and wise men three
Then we thought of those living in danger
The sick and the poor and the refugee
And all those deserving our care

So that Baby of old and the twinkling star
Tells of God’s great love which came
Into the world to save souls in their need
By kindling that loving flame
So come dear Lord wipe out all our greed
With the light from that stable afar

God never says no when we celebrate
He is happy to rejoice with us all
So give thanks to God who loves each of us
He too will come to the ball
So come dear Lord, we won’t make a fuss
As again you with us incarnate

Ken Fisher

Christmas Gifts

Christmas Gifts [A reposting of last year’s Poem. Issued between Black Friday and
Christmas Eve]

Selfridges London

Selfridges London

 

The Three Wise Men – is it them we should blame?
For starting this craze which can drive us insane
Each Christmas demands that we spend so much cash
As in our giving we are ever more rash

We know that it’s time that we all took a stance
And tried to control this needless expense
But somehow it seems we cannot reduce
As the desire to give still seems to seduce

We feel that it’s good to be kind to our friends
So to one and all our largesse extends
But we know that deep down their love can’t be bought
And much reckless spending is really for nought

So why don’t we reflect as did those Wise Men
Who sought out the Infant in far Bethlehem?
That gifts are mere symbols of their adoration
As to that Baby they bent in prostration

Now, as long ago, we need only one gift
As we too our faces to Jesus uplift
Just hearts filled with love for God and for man
Reflecting that glory whenever we can

Ken Fisher