Cold Calling

The phone rings and we react in a Pavlovian way
Only to find that we have once again become prey
To those anonymous callers who want us to respond
To their sales messages electronically spawned

We know right away when we pick up the phone
That the caller is thousands of miles from our home
Their grasp of our language seems rudimentary
Their spiel they repeat as if straight from memory

The background noise sounds like a bazaar
How many such sales progress very far?
But these callers give it their very best shot
Each shift for them must be really fraught

Then there are calls which purport to be local
Sometimes these speakers can be very vocal
‘We are in your area and thought we would ring
To offer our product – the very best thing’

When you reply that you’ve been double-glazed
This seems to leave them completely unfazed
What is the state of your cavity walls
Or careworn rooms and unpainted halls?

So although their messages are often unwelcome
And surely they close a sale only seldom
Nonetheless they’re determined to  persevere
For rewards that bring so little cheer

Perhaps we should give these agents a thought
For in the end it’s simply a job
And although we would rather they left us alone
Do them a favour, at least pick up the phone!

Ken Fisher

See also: Thank You for Waiting – Your Call is Important to Us