Monthly Archives: March 2017

Exercise

Exercise

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You have no doubt heard lots about exercise
To heed that advice is certainly wise
To keep our bodies ever on the move
Is something we should learn to love

‘Cause the experts tell us that physical activity
Is far better for us than mere passivity
So make sure you keep swinging those arms and legs
And don’t simply languish in your comfy bed

Our muscles come in all shapes and sizes
To keep stretching them the physio advises
If they are not used on a regular basis
We might encounter some bodily crisis

Similarly the joints that link up the bones
Might grind to a halt for reasons unknown
So the best advice for the human frame
Is constant movement to avoid getting lame

Exercise can improve all sorts of diseases
Heart problems, the liver, and type 2 diabetes
It is even claimed that it’s good for the brain
So get out of doors and ignore any rain

Avoid sitting on your couch or the life sedentary
Make going outside your routine customary
And if you can accept this discipline severe
You’ll be the healthiest old codger in that bath-chair!

Ken Fisher

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Political Correctness

Political Correctness (PC)

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In the past it was simply considered good manners
But now there seems a much higher standard
For things that we say or words that we write
The risk of offending has become infinite

We have to reflect on the language we use
And avoid using terms whose meaning is loose
And above all we must never discriminate
By adopting a term which others berate

Thus mankind is replaced by humanity
Never appealing to mens’ vanity
Workmen joined by their women equivalent
So the term workforce is much less ambivalent

The killer whale is the orca, a much kinder term
Spring Spheres replace Easter Eggs we confirm
And Christmas foliage becomes the holiday tree
So that from religion we might all be kept free

PC is not just restricted to the use of words
Some other changes you may think absurd
So to make Dennis a little less of a Menace
A softening makeover so as not to offend us

Punch and Judy, a staple of the British seaside
No more inappropriate hitting or woe betide
Brainstorming must now be described as thought showers
Such revisions took the PC inspectors many hours

A major concern of the PC advocates
Two concepts which they often like to conflate
Equality and diversity they seek to promote
Only such policies deserving our vote

One school plans to make its toilets unisex
So that any LGBT pupils will n’er be preplexed
Thus avoiding any possible crisis of identity
Binary division removed quite acceptably

So the whole agenda of political correctness
By many new measures designed to direct us
Ensuring that nothing will ever divide or offend
Perhaps a new tyranny that seems without end

Ken Fisher

 

Apprenticeship

Apprenticeship

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Today is Budget Day and it is interesting to note
a new emphasis on Apprenticeships.  An old idea
being given new clothes 

The image in this picture represents great distortion
Of what apprenticeship today is really all about
Their TV show antics seem out of all proportion
The normal rules of business they prefer to flout

Of course there is little doubt it brings us entertainment
But do the images they create show us much of business?
Surely apprenticeship involving good work placement
Should let us experience a working life in all its richness

In latter years many young people have shunned apprenticeship
So off they went in droves, hoping to become a graduate
Believing that the University would them for life equip
But in the end wealth and success proved not their future fate

So recently there has been greater realization
That practical training rather than lofty theory
Might better serve the young denizens of our nation
Than book learning of which they become weary

Getting your hands dirty in workshop or in laboratory
Might then prove for many a much wiser bet
Adding steadily to a growing skills inventory
And incidentally avoiding piles of student debt

In the old days apprentices into journey-men became
And now-a-days these trainees can show similar success
The system of advancement is now much less arcane
As in the modern day labour market they smoothly can progress

So to Lord Sugar we must offer due deference
He and his team of two have kept us all amused
But the real life apprenticeship is our own preference
And between the two we are surely not confused

Ken Fisher

 

Fly in the Ointment

Fly in the Ointment

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Ecclesiastes 10.1 Dead flies cause the ointment of the apothecary to send forth a stinking savour,
so doth a little folly him that is in reputation for wisdom and honour

 Do we stop to think when tempted to sin?
A little peccadillo or something akin
To cut the corner, giving less than our best
I am sure that no one would ever have guessed

So that the face that we show to the credulous world
Is not quite so upright, but slightly impaired
‘Cause we are not just as honest as you may well think
In our shiny armour there is that little chink

Somehow a fly has sneaked into the ointment
And the facts are not quite as we would present
In our past life there’s a secret we continue to hide
A fact of which we in no way take pride

So we hope that if this flaw you were to discover
You will accept that o’er time we have tried to recover
And by honest hard work our reputation rebuild
That nasty fly in the ointment now hopefully killed

There is one final point I think we should make
And I hope this won’t cause you any heartache
To wipe the slate clean we must each other forgive
That in true harmony we all then may live

Ken Fisher

Eyeball to Eyeball

Eyeball to Eyeball

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Eyeball to eyeball appears to be the common stance
Of TV interviewers and their victims – the politicians
The media moguls seem to think that MPs are fair game
For their verbal assaults and skirmishes

I am not sure who is determined to demonstrate
to greater effect. To grandstand their superiority
In debate, or at least in point-scoring
In inflicting wounds and uncovering vulnerability

Of course politicians are often the masters of the silver tongue
Their weasel words crafted to evade embarrassing questions
At all costs they must not be seen as a boxer on the ropes
So they return the punches with equivocation and obfuscation

One of the popular weapons in these wars of words
Is the use of the impenetrable realm of statistics
Thus by digital prestidigitation they produce from the hat
Numerical evidence to justify or countermand any ‘fact’

So it seems to me that many TV and radio interviews
Have become the arena for the clash of aspiring titans
Journalists exercising their customary power without responsibility
And politicians defending their power while evading responsibility

And one wonders if these eyeball to eyeball spectaculars
Only serve the vanity of the protagonists

Ken Fisher

 

The Elephant in the Room

The Elephant in the Room

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An elephant seems to have entered our room
Surely someone will say something soon
Because its presence is so clearly obvious
Yet apparently ignored by the entire audience

Despite the fact of its enormous frame
Everyone agrees to play the game
Of pretending this tusker does not exist
So speaking of which they firmly resist

The risk of its presence they simply ignore
A course of action they all should deplore
Because this mighty behemoth won’t go away
A solution is needed most speedily

Of course the elephant is simply a metaphor
For a problem we must find a solution for
Like the King’s New Clothes concealing a lie
The elephant too would the truth deny

So let our profession be honest and true
Not sending that giant back to the zoo
And candour can once again resume
When we accept the elephant is in the room!

Ken Fisher