White Van Man

White Van Man


If I am honest with myself I am filled with prejudice
Because I view the white van man as if he were some vice
In recent years he has come to dominate our streets
And this type of vehicle seems to come in fleets

He (or she) weaves their way throughout the heavy traffic
At speeds as good as any Jeremy Clarkson fanatic
And when they decide to stop and block the thoroughfare
For the other road users they simply don’t seem to care

Of course the rise of this modern entrepreneur
From humble tradesman quite obscure
To ubiquitous solution for all that we desire
Gives a quick and easy nostrum if only we will hire

Apart from all the crafts and trades traditional
White van men now handle things much less conventional
So pet grooming, dog walking, or if your walls need scraping
Portable discos, barbecues, or even some landscaping

White van man has found a way to access all locations
The sat nav easily pinpoints any house throughout the nation
And despite the fact he may cause mighty road congestion
He will eventually get there, of that there is no question

Because we have fallen in love with on-line shopping
All these parcels will then need rapid shipping
So the white van can be detected night and day
He must meet his target-time and never go astray

Perhaps instead of getting peeved at the sight of white van man
We should be thankful for all that’s concealed inside his van
Whether it is his skill and the tools to meet our needs
Or on-line goods from Amazon and favourite books to read

Ken Fisher

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