Modern Job Titles

Modern Job titles

 

I am tempted to say ‘you can’t be serious’!
When I hear of new jobs with titles mysterious
‘Chief Impact Officer’ for our Royal Prince
So lofty a role, it’s bound to convince

I suppose if your’re no longer an HRH
You need something to put ice on your cake
And there is little doubt he’ll consider the fact
That somehow he still needs to make real impact

While trawling articles in the national press
I came across job titles that are bound to impress
But the meaning of these seem rather obscure
What the holders actually do I am quite unsure

I am hoping that someone out there can make clear
The vital role of the new ‘Happiness Engineer’
And if the ‘Brand Warrior’ looms into sight
It does not signify we are in for a fight

Some businesses employ an on-board psychiatrist
But a new version has emerged – the ‘Dream Alchemist’
Corporate fluffery uses different approaches
Providing work for those gurus – ‘Lifestyle Coaches’

Virtue signalling is apparently all the rage
In woke capitalism, the spirit of the age
Hence the departure from jobs with any real work
Demanding graft that really might hurt

Perhaps it’s just me but I like to know what is meant
By a job specification full of puzzlement
The terms should be devoid of opaque illusion
Thus removing  all doubt and confusion

Recruitment agencies must now be creative
Inventing job descriptions quite innovative
Coaxing clients to apply for roles enigmatic
Success only assured to the most charismatic

Ken Fisher

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