Off to Yooni!

Spare a thought for this year’s
Recruits to Higher Education
They are going off to Yooni
But are they really?

This year they may not
Be going off to anywhere
Or perhaps only for day-trips
A sort of discounted experience

But the young ones are not all snowflakes
Many are very resilient
And no doubt will make the best
Of what’s on offer – however convoluted

After all this is the high tech generation
Whose tiny fingers have been grafted on
To key-boards, Joy sticks and the mouse
Since infancy

So interfacing with on-line lectures
Should be almost instinctual
Zooming a doddle
Gaming in the blood

But how do you forge a relationship
With an algorithm?
What’s the required bandwidth
To cultivate human friendship?

I am not a robot – but I need to prove it
Coffee together in the common room
A pint in the union bar might be more
Evidence of our humanity

And all this ignores the enormity
Of the challenge of grasping new subjects
Unfamiliar landscapes, mountain climbing
Striving to ascend intellectual ladders

So we wish them well, all youz off to Yooni
Don’t let It beat you, whether your diet
Is to be blended or wholemeal
Swallow it – and don’t choke!

Ken Fisher