Author Archives: thebardofkelvindale.com

Life on the Pause Button

Life on the Pause Button

 

You are happily working on your machine
When the swirling beach ball hits the screen
Perhaps simply meant to entertain
Let’s hope not the harbinger of pain

This spinning rainbow wheel should not alarm
It’s not intended to do us harm
It signifies attempts to run an application
And should not cause undue frustration

I wonder if that’s how you feel now
Life put on Pause, you don’t know how
That hovering disk of coronavirus
Huge interruption, undesirous

The coloured disk is just a sign
In computing really quite benign
Just a minor interruption
Not heralding life’s destruction

But here we are, all normal life on pause
Heroic NHS we would applause
And all those who help life to sustain
Until this menace we constrain

In due time that swirling ball should disappear
When we may cast aside our fear
Slowly from enforced isolation
Arise subdued and chastened nation

But in the meantime we must be patient
Each new day must be sufficient
And ‘normality’ will in time return
Then new patterns we must surely learn

Ken Fisher

Log-on All Ye Faithful

Log-on All Ye Faithful
[Easter worship during social isolation]

Easter, a time for reflection and celebration
The cross held high and the empty tomb
But this year the observance of our nation
Bound by the confines of our room

Meeting together as part of the church
By the virus put into suspension
Through the ‘chat room’ your presence we search
Would grasp again that eternal dimension

So may the message of Easter still resonate
God’s love shown for all on the cross
As on Easter morn we would celebrate
His rising, defeating all loss

So as each of us gather in our little cell
Denied being just one congregation
May we be assured that all will be well
Faith overcomes separation

Ken Fisher

On-Screen Appearance

On-Screen Appearance

[Communication as required under coronavirus!]

In these unusual days when we self-isolate
We have to find new ways to communicate
So as we position ourselves in front of our screen
We are somewhat concerned about how we are seen

Of course the first problem is to make the connection
And it takes time and practice to find the selection
Do we use ZOOM or Facetime or perhaps even Skype?
And then we must know when to click or to swipe

Now I know it’s important that we should not seem vain
But appearances count you know, all the same
As we appear on your screen we make an impression
Best with positive stance and a smiling expression

But our face is not all that our contacts can view
The way we are clothed they clearly see too
So for this on-screen discourse there is a prerequisite
We need to consider what is good etiquette

Many think that when we are not meeting face to face
A smart appearance we can simply forsake
But I suggest that if we wish to remain business-like
Competence is the mien that we must still strike

But not all our Zooming is for important transactions
Quite often it’s with family or friends we have interactions
Fashion might not then be our primary concern
So to a more casual style we can return

Thus in the morning jogging bottoms may be quite OK
In the afternoon my new jumper can be on display
But in the evening perhaps when you might see me close up
Hair nicely combed, and for the ladies(?)– make-up!

And you might think that as we are all more remote
Dress sense we no longer need to promote
But I hope you will find these guidelines deserve our adherence
In such isolation don’t ignore your on-screen appearance!

Ken Fisher

The Mother of Invention

The Mother of Invention
[Adapting to cope with the Covid-19 pandemic]

As you know Necessity is the mother of invention
And now that normal life is in suspension
There is a pressing need to discover a solution
To the new problems requiring resolution

Now there is a very powerful incentive
So scientists and engineers are being inventive
In adapting their machines to other use
That threats to life they might hopefully reduce

To help patients suffering from the virus
Is an objective most desirous
Thus former domestic devices and equipment
Being redesigned to help in urgent treatment

But not only in the field of technology
Have we been forced to change methodology
Home-schooling and online education
Must now help in the mind’s formation

At supermarkets when replenishment of our fridge is due
We must line up, well spaced out in the queue
No jostling for bargains is allowed
Of taking only our allotted share we should be proud

As church worshippers can no longer gather
To praise God and even just to blether
They’re not now assembled in one room
The Service beamed out to each one through Zoom

And for all those accustomed to fine dining
Convivial outings, with good food and much wining
Now celebrate an event or a birthday
Phoning Just Eat for a meagre take-away

Of course you must not forget your daily work-out
To ensure you avoid getting stout
The 1980’s Green Goddess re-invented
By new TV personal trainers we’re tormented!

And what about the loss of your daily occupation
Earnings shrinking right across the nation
It’s not that anyone wants to shirk
But how can idle hands invent new work?

So now we’re all made prisoners in our home
With very limited permission to roam
Let’s hope we can maintain that serenity
While this confinement remains necessity

Necessity is the mother of invention
We’re still filled with mighty apprehension
But as human mothers duly gave us birth
Invention, her progeny will surely save this earth

Ken Fisher

Cabin Fever

Cabin Fever
In the first week of ‘confinement’ due to Covid-19

We’re approaching the end of this very first week
And perhaps you are becoming a computer geek
In order to keep in touch with other ladies and chaps
We need to wise up on those specialist apps

You will have heard of Twitter and of Facebook
And of course YouTube where we all take a look
Then there’s Face Time and Skype and also Snap Chat
And the clubbing experience of being on WhatsApp

Now I’ve newly discovered the marvels of Zoom
In the current emergency it is quite a boon
But the problem is knowing how these all operate
With drop-down menus and wizards to negotiate

But it’s well worth the effort to master the art
And in the on-line assembly we should play our part
For this nasty virus which is oh so persistent
Means no physical closeness – we must keep our distance!

So in the meantime when Cabin Fever is our communal lot
To maintain your sanity you must give some thought
So start trawling the web for apps on communication
And help to keep up morale in this benighted nation

Ken Fisher

Think Happy Thoughts!

Think Happy Thoughts

 

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What might be the cure for the doom and gloom
When joy in our hearts fails to find any room?
What can we do to expel doubt and fear
And fill once again our minds with good cheer

Some suggest we might resort to philosophy
To lift us up from the depths of despondency
By thinking great thoughts our minds will improve
Anxious worries may hopefully thus be removed

Other gurus, psychology would then advocate
Our problem’s with thinking and how we relate
The external world to our inner perception
Our concerns and issues are mere self-deception

Theology also should not be ignored
Surely faith’s realm might be duly explored
But perhaps religion might make us feel worse
And prove less of a boon and more of a curse

Positive thinking may yet give us a boost
Thus a happier mood might be quickly induced
Just such a message is proudly displayed
On these T- Shirts which surely might yet some persuade!

But to bring this poem right up to date
When Covid-19 might determine our fate
And happy thoughts may be in short supply
You must just ‘stay at home’ and put life on standby

Ken Fisher

 

Broadband Church

Broadband Church

[The response of the Church to viral induced separation]

We know of many ‘broad’ churches in this our homeland
But now the church is re-invented as it goes broadband
No longer can the people gather as a congregation
As coronavirus risk demands a degree of separation

But many preachers will exercise their initiative
Ensuring the message to their flock they can still give
They have come up with this ingenious solution
Offering prayer and comfort, perhaps for sins even absolution!

So on Sundays you don’t have to attend the local church
No longer for a service do you have to search
Instead the message will be beamed direct to you
No more shuffling along in the old church pew

So all you need to do is check out the local press
And in there you should find the web address
Worship will be streamed in a variety of ways
Facebook and YouTube, even Zoom will bring you praise

So keep in touch with God in this time of isolation
Don’t let lack of human contact spread across the nation
The broadband church can still keep us all united
Ensuring hearts and minds will not be benighted.

Ken Fisher

Spring Equinox 2020

Vernal Equinox

[Friday 20 March 2020]

 

Equinoxes occur twice a year
When the plane of the Earth’s equator
Passes through the centre of the Sun
On this day the Sun shines directly on the equator
And day and night are approximately equal

Today is the Spring Equinox
And our minds look forward to warmer days
And backwards, with gratitude for the receding of winter
We are filled with hope for the months ahead

An Equinox is perhaps an appropriate time to reflect
On all that has been good in life
To give thanks for its many blessings
For health and shelter and for companionship

As the buds form on the trees and plants sprout
Carpeting the land which has lain barren for long
We look forward in anticipation to burgeoning life
In field and tree, in gardens and on hillside

And these days of longer daylight hours
Afford us the chance to escape from our winter burrows
And breathe the more expansive air of the world outside
As our horizons are lifted to a wider vision

Mind you, this year the prospect has been somewhat dimmed
By the coronavirus which has cast a shadow over us all
Let’s hope that the brightening light might be matched by
A lifting of our spirits
And hopes for happier days to come

Ken Fisher

 

 

Pestilence, Plague, and Pandemic

Pestilence, Plague, and Pandemic

No-one thought it would become endemic
This pestilence, plague and pandemic
Its arrival is not entirely our fault
But it certainly is not easy to halt

Every day the totals increase
We wonder when it will cease
They tell us it’s a long way from the peak
And for a solution we anxiously seek

There is no doubt this coronavirus
Has assuredly managed to try us
Suddenly our lives are completely upset
By this intrusive and unwelcome threat

In the meantime there is little to do
But wait for some scientific breakthrough
And hope that we all can survive
Until our health and our fortunes revive

So just get used to self-isolation
Which seems to be the fate of the nation
But still try to communicate with others
As together this penance we suffer

Ken Fisher

Knight Errant

Knight Errant

[Knight Errant – a medieval knight wandering
In search of chivalrous adventures]

Glaswegians will quickly recognise
This knight acting oh so wise
Head festooned with traffic cone
With face mask, he’s not now alone

Hope he might be quick to scare away
The major threat of this our day
Get coronavirus on the run
This looming threat is no real fun

To the rescue comes our knight
Push this beastie out of sight
You can conquer in such style
That once again Glasgow can smile

Ken Fisher

[with gratitude to the designer of
the additions to the statue of
the Duke of Wellington]

Uncertainty

Uncertainty

[As we watch the coronavirus developments]

Uncertainty the order of the day
All our lives in disarray
Don’t greet each other with a hug
In case you catch the fearful bug

Do like those who live in Rome
Lock the door and stay at home?
Stop those outings to the gym
Only phone your kith and kin

When will they tell us what to do?
Experts all seem in a stew
What do the pundits advocate?
Congregate or isolate

Some welcome this peculiar pause
Do I hear their loud applause?
A break from everyday routine
Let’s not rush to reconvene

But perhaps we should not be so rash
From whence will come much needed cash?
If out of work we don’t get paid
By empty hands we’ll be dismayed

Goodbye to all life’s normal pleasures
When our routine is enforced leisure
Who will rid us of this scourge?
Let’s hope a cure might soon emerge

Of course most of us are still alive
Although share prices quickly dive
Now the most needed new invention
A cure to save my ailing pension!

In the meantime it’s still a waiting game
Not solved by any insurance claim
Uncertain we must thus remain
Until this vile tide is on the wane

Ken Fisher

The Sound of Silence

The Sound of Silence

Have you ever heard the sound of silence?
Surely silence is the absence of all sound
But some proclaim that silence of itself can ‘speak’

Perhaps the sullen silence of when you have felt offended
By the harsh words and unkind sentiments of others
No word of defence is offered to this piercing tirade

The sound of silence might be heard
When there is nothing to be said in the
Face of sudden catastrophe or personal tragedy

The sound of silence  broods darkly in the air
In the aftermath of a lover’s tiff
Who will break the silence?  Not me

The sound of silence will resound on the hillside
As we stand awestruck at the beauty of creation
No words can do justice to that grandeur

The sound of silence found in God’s non-answer
To our petitions for the world and for ourselves
Why won’t He speak?   Must we listen out in vain

And yet perhaps silence is sound
As we quietly await a response
From the ether’s muteness
And deep in our heart the silence breaks

Ken Fisher