Author Archives: thebardofkelvindale.com

Winter’s Come (again)

Winter’s Come (again)

[Written when we woke up to significant snowfall
on 28 February 2018]

Winter’s come again, I thought that it had passed
But lo and behold, lots of snow has amassed
The schools have closed their doors, the kids are quite elated
But no doubt others have found their plans frustrated

It always seems amazing the power of this white precipitation
To bring modern society from activity to stagnation
You would think we might have learned to cope with interruption
And overcome the weather causing havoc and disruption

However here we are, we may as well submit
And make the best of our time as we might see fit
Perhaps we can immerse ourselves in a favourite book
While sitting back enjoying a mug of welcome soup

So whatever is the result of the snow piling at your door
You have no need to compound the angst even more
By worrying about things that won’t get done today
And simply enjoy the enforced change from work to play

For there is little doubt that shortly the weather’s bound to change
And all that’s had to be set aside we soon can rearrange
And no matter how about the blizzard we then felt
It will soon be forgotten when we see it start to melt

Ken Fisher

Rewind

Rewind

If only, if only, we could hit the rewind
Swallow those words, rub out the lines
Take back what we’ve said in that moment so rash
Pick it all up, dump it in Trash

And not just our words, quite often our deeds
Ignoring others, only concerned for our needs
Blundering on with so little thought
Creating a climate ever so fraught

If only we might pause at that critical moment
And thus avoid leaving a hurtful endowment
Just stem the flow of unkind invective
Prompting regrets in the retrospective

It would be better if we could freeze-frame
Be mute for a moment before we declaim
Then ask ourselves why be so unkind?
And avert the need to beg for rewind

How might we avoid this need for regret
Praying that others will early forget?
Before every hasty word or precipitate action
Think first of others and their reaction

Let’s not forget that well-known adage
And thereby avoid unnecessary damage
‘It’s nice to be nice’ I am sure you agree
And from contrition you will be set free

Ken Fisher

Open Wide

Open Wide

To day I am heading for the dentist, not been there for some time
I will stand at the entrance and listen to the doorbell chime
I might even be tempted to turn on my heel and run away
But if I did so I would my trust in her betray

So through the door I will proceed and duly give my name
‘Not seen you for a while’, the receptionist will exclaim
I sheepishly apologise for my protracted absence
And hope that I am nonetheless still a welcome presence

I sit in the waiting room full of apprehension
Surely there is no need to feel such mounting tension
In due time the dentist calls me to the inner chamber
Up on to the sacrificial plinth I tentatively clamber

I have never met this new practitioner before
And she smilingly begins my oral cavity to explore
Mysterious numbers and codes are efficiently called out
Thank goodness the nurse seems to know what this is all about

I look up skywards into the bright searchlight
Hoping there is no need for me to feel contrite
And after a few moments of judicious prodding
She declares ‘some remedial work, and at least one filling’

I am much relieved by this judgment quite benign
And readily the treatment form I willingly just sign
Just two more visits will surely set me free
By then my mouth will have sailed through its M O T!

Ken Fisher

Seed Time

Seed Time

The time of year for the planting of tiny seeds
Pressed by the compost, forced into hibernation
Protected from threats of all invasive weeds
Laid down lovingly in hope and expectation

Embryonic plants secreting great potential
Upward  reaching tiny shoots will pierce the surface
Believers acknowledge God’s purpose providential
Nature thus mobilized in mankind’s service

Emblematic of that process of regeneration
Life emanating from a substance quite minute
As with plants, so with all life’s rich creation
Grandeur blossoms from the tiniest root

Thus the fruit of Eden’s garden multiplies
The good and evil tangled in the garden plot
Primal planting initiates the whole great enterprise
From which in time all living things are wrought

Ken Fisher

That was Then, this is Now

That was Then, this is Now

When we reflect on days gone by
We may recall with a deep sigh
Of customs we now disavow
But that was then, this is now

There never was a question whether
Before marriage you might live together
Social pressure would not allow
But that was then, this is now

Partners were business associates
Not sharing a bedroom with your mate
Today we won’t  raise an eyebrow
But that was then, this is now

Times past we blithely described something ‘gay’
Perhaps  bright flowers on a sunny day
Today gay means equal status we on all endow
Not like then, for this is now

On one thing for certain you can rely
Constant change you can’t deny
Thus we must learn to cope somehow
For that was then, and we live now

Ken Fisher

Photoshop Identity

Photoshop Identity

 

It has been claimed ‘the camera never lies’
And you simply must believe your eyes
But in this modern world, oh so high tech
That final image you should surely check

Because it’s now easy to manipulate
Thus unwanted features we obliterate
From those raw images once original
Captured by our lens then made digital

Snappers are happy with their efforts
Slight imperfections bring no discomfort
But experts feel the need to titivate
Thus post-processing simply cannot wait

So as soon as their images are downloaded
And the pixels have all been decoded
Photoshop software is called into service
Ready to work its transforming marvels

With a battery of tools ever so extensive
Its capability is most comprehensive
It can adjust exposure and colour saturation
Even straighten out chromatic aberration

It can zoom in and out and remove every blemish
Wipe out mysterious shadows which seem to menace
Pick out highlights and make minor corrections
And break up the image into multiple sections

By setting up layers it tackles each issue
Overlaying the problem with a distinct tissue
Making eyes sparkle ever so bright
Turning dark patches into clear light

It is even possible to switch someone’s head
And make people appear when you thought they were dead
Thus bodies and faces we can interchange
A practice that many will consider quite strange

This magic software uses a number of tools
Each one has to be used according to rules
You can paint bits of the screen with special brushes
Causing pallor or if needed, even hot flushes!

You can crop the photo or make it expand
A tiny image made really quite grand
There is an adjustment brush and a graduated filter
Help you sort things out if they all go out of kilter

You can apparently even decide to dehaze
And reorder items that get out of phase
Indeed there nothing impossible for this mighty edit
And we really ought to give the inventors credit

But there is one thing that concerns me and perhaps you
How do we know that the final image is true?
And while we may have claimed the camera never lies
Of the final production – can we believe our eyes?

Ken Fisher

Attitude

Attitude

 

Perhaps it’s how I think
Perhaps just how I feel
I wonder if there is a link
My thoughts thus made real?

‘It depends upon our attitude’
Is a phrase often rehearsed
Is this not just a platitude
From those in cliches well versed?

But attitude does truly matter
As we confront a situation
With fear or else with laughter
Signalling hope or trepidation

In the harsh world of competition
A little ‘attitude’ is surely needed
Set aside our inhibition
To ensure our plea is heeded

‘Attitude ‘ in a product or a service
Is now seen as quite a quirky virtue
Don’t hide it neath the surface
Loudly proclaim it to be true

The attitude of others affects our own reaction
An outlook, viewpoint and perspective
Our response to each new interaction
Oftimes personal and subjective

Perhaps you have recently heard the claim
A ‘can-do attitude ‘ is much to be prized
So if that style you can maintain
Without doubt you’ll be admired

Thus attitude, under whatever guise
Doubtless has significance
To reflect on it is wise
Don’t just leave life to chance

So in your  attitude be mindful

And never be forgetful
Of that timeless maxim
“Do unto others as you would have them
do to you”

Ken Fisher

Newspaper Supplements

Newspaper Supplements

You have heard the expression ‘too much information’
An example of this stems from newspaper publications
The weekend supplements are inclined to excesses
In the vast flow of material that spouts from their presses

The very size of the bundle you pull down from the shelf
Can all this be read by one person themself?
There are endless features, sometimes in sections
News, travel, finance, business, all demand your attention

If your interest is gardening, or the life-style of the llama
Or perhaps science is preferred to music or drama
If healthy living and sport is your main obsession
The supplements will surely give it expression

And then there are the colour magazine enclosures
Here fashion and glamour are given full exposure
Photographers are thus granted undoubted free rein
If they show rather too much we ought not to blame

For editors of these weekend cornucopia
Try to showcase a world resembling utopia
The travel supplements would take us all to exotic places
Island paradises peopled by outlandish races

And let’s not forget the crosswords and puzzles
We need these to exercise the cranial muscles
Although if we get stuck it might make us furious
And their answers to quizzes are sometimes quite curious

However I think the weekend supplements are really a boon
The Radio and TV programmes, even a cartoon
A range of material, far more than we seek
And weekend reading surely lasts us all week!

Ken Fisher

Blue Moon

Blue Moon

On the thirty-first of January in 2018
Observe the moon tinged with a strange blue sheen
The cause is due to the intervening atmosphere
But the unusual colour is nothing we should fear

A blue moon is a second surprising appearance
After an earlier quite regular occurrence
Thus in the month we see two successive moons
One is a New Moon followed now by the Blue

Of course there is only one moon which pops up twice
As if in this month only one won’t suffice
A calendar year has a surfeit of days
So with the 12 lunar cycles timings get out of phase

To keep the annual pattern duly uniform
Scientists had to devise  a quite clever reform
Thus on occasions which really are quite rare
A blue moon was scheduled quite reasonable and fair

But because this event is rather infrequent
A new name was given some time subsequent
Blue moons are events that make you stand and stare
Thus here on earth a ‘blue moon’ marks something very rare

Ken Fisher

See also: September Moon  Summer Moon   Moon

 

Wait

Wait

Most of us find it hard to wait
To pause momentarily becomes a trial
Somehow we can’t even hesitate
Take our foot off the pedal, once in a while

Why must we live life at this headlong pace?
Forever rushing through the tasks of each day
Determined to stay at the front in the race
Ever onwards, our motto, come what may

So no wonder we take it so very hard
When some obstacle forces us to halt
What causes our progress to retard?
Who is to blame, whence cometh the fault?

Why should we be surprised at having to wait?
Surely it’s part of the natural order
There is no reason why delay should frustrate
Or bring our emotions into disorder

At the very start we had to wait to be born
And through infancy, wait on parents’ loving care
Then wait at the school gates, somewhat forlorn
Wait as we acquired knowledge for life to prepare

Wait to develop through our teenage years
And as young adults wait to decide on our life’s direction
Perhaps wisely wait as we mix with our peers
With a suitable soulmate to make a connection

Wait for the result of the job interview
Or the news of a hoped-for promotion
Coping when our mood turns to blue
Wait for a calmer emotion

And thus as we progress through life’s diverse pathways
No matter what might come in fame or in fortune
Or trial and challenge which may mark our days
Waiting, surely no great misfortune

And later in life when more freedom is prized
Waiting might yet be seen as a boon
We may discover to our great surprise
The long coveted snooze in the afternoon!

So let’s not despise the fact that we have to wait,
In traffic, at checkouts, in queues, at the surgery
At the bus stop, the filling station, or for that longed-for date
Wait for the passage of years ticked off at each anniversary

And then at the end we wait the last final call
Heralding our separation from the joys of this life
When our waiting is over once and for all
The interruption of time can cause no further strife

Ken Fisher

See Also: Life Will See you Now  May we Hallow Life’s Brief Span

Get Out Your Pen; Ditch the Keyboard

Get Out Your Pen; Ditch the Keyboard

[for National Handwriting Day 23 Jan 2018]

 

Perhaps it has become a forgotten art
Being viewed nowadays as somewhat quaint
Technology has certainly played its part
But I am not sure to whom to complain

For each of us in early school days
Many hours were spent in learning to write
Each letter shaped in its own special way
All endeavours aimed at getting it right

We dotted the I’s and stroked all the T’s
Tried to ensure the words were all clear
Thus we shaped the letters with loops you could see
Gradually improving our style every year

Practice gained in notes and compositions
Eventually we achieved considerable skill
Some even entered writing competitions
As their aspirations they tried to fulfill

But then came along the computer revolution
The use of the pen soon became redundant
The keyboard for data became the solution
QWERTY suddenly appeared quite abundant

As well as the keyboard we have the touch screen
And sensory devices the data to capture
The old fashioned pen is now rarely seen
With so many alternatives input to gather

We have taught our computers to hear our voice
And mouse clicks replace the stroke of the pen
Indeed there is now an infinite choice
To feed in data again and again

So what of the diminishing art of writing?
Well perhaps there are still times it can play a part
When we wish to ensure a personal greeting
On a generous cheque or a birthday card!

So my plea is get out your pen; ditch the keyboard
Jot down a few lines, straight from the heart
That biro or fountain will bring its reward
And for one brief moment restore the lost art

Ken Fisher

Buy NONE Get One Free

Buy NONE Get One Free

Never mind those offers that say ‘Buy One Get One Free!’
Here’s something better which you really have to see
In this case you are placed under no real obligation
To entitle you to claim your free remuneration

Most of us are cynics and find it hard to believe
It sounds as if someone seeks the public to deceive
In these hard times surely we can get zilch for nothing
Clearly we expect to pay in return for something

In the tough world of commerce all things have their price
And often to acquire them we must sacrifice
It may take a lifetime for us to acquire
The countless cravings which are now our heart’s desire

Perhaps that is the problem, the endless stream of wants
We try to suppress them but still our mind they haunt
Of course we must strive our daily life to sustain
And those of our dependents we also must maintain

And thus the quest to maximize our gain
Achieve satisfaction yet minimize the pain
So what is this gift that comes completely free
No necessary purchase, no expensive fee?

Well the answer comes from an unlikely source
One perhaps long forgotten along life’s winding course
At the heart of the Bible’s message, God’s grace is offered free
This is the saving power quite free to you and me

Like me, you may think this an old fashioned claim to make
Maybe you’re too case-hardened this free offer to take
But perhaps we simply need to learn to accept it at its word
And in trust we may discover that it’s really not absurd

Ken Fisher

 

See Also: BOGOF