Author Archives: thebardofkelvindale.com

Get Over It!

Get Over It!

[Written on the day when the Presidential Election Result came through]

 

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For some it will be welcome news
For others a bad attack of blues
For many it brings satisfaction
For others, a severe adverse reaction

But however now you may be feeling
A great result, or unappealing
With dear Donald we must cope
So don’t despair, don’t give up hope

Let’s pray that time will moderate
And reflection mitigate
Extreme threats made of drastic action
May be subject to redaction

Democracy has chosen its way
The nation’s voters had their say
So in the end we can’t complain
Of what will follow in its train

Trump will soon be President
A fact that some no doubt resent
But he has pledged greatness again
Which by his deeds he will sustain

So if we regard this as bad news
With all our liberal-minded views
Please don’t simply throw a fit
Just grit your teeth, Get Over It!

Ken Fisher

God Bless America

God Bless America 

(Written on polling day 8 Nov 2016)

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Let’s hope that whatever

The outcome of today’s Presidential

Election brings

 

That when all the

Verbal skirmishing is over

All the scaremongering

And predictions of doom

Have died away

 

That this great nation

May find a renewed calm

A restored poise

A relaxed confidence

 

That it might once again

Take its place

As the supreme paradigm

Of democratic rule

 

 

 

 

Ken Fisher

 

As a Revolutionary Guy Fawkes Was Relatively Tame!

As a Revolutionary Guy Fawkes Was Relatively Tame!

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Who can doubt the treachery of Guy Fawkes in days of yore
As audacious as any revolt that had come before
To kill King James and those then sitting in Parliament
Was the purpose on which these bold plotters were bent

But the plotters were ‘foxed’ when the cellars were checked
And their malicious intentions did not go unchecked
Thus failed the plan to divert history’s direction
With the death of those who foment disaffection

Fast forward from those events of 1605
The desire for reform is still much alive
Perhaps gunpowder no longer the agent of change
Other forces at play can  our lives rearrange

Politics, the modern weapon whereby changes are wrought
Citizens express their desires through the ballot box
So elections now ignite the volatile spark
Resulting in changes that may be quite stark

The referenda can trigger demands quite explosive
As feelings are stirred making tempers emotive
Demands for freedom from the yoke of the oppressor
Those perceived of our rights to have been the transgressor

And so on the  European Question there was little doubt
Deeply divided opinion on whether IN or OUT
Brexit is bound to bring far-reaching change
Who yet knows if these will be losses or gains?

While at this time of year Guy Fawkes may be fondly recalled
By contemporary scandals we are not quite so enthralled!
But one thing is sure, changes will come, and we’ll have to cope
So keep your powder dry and don’t give up hope

It is odd to reflect that the prestige of Westminster
May be tarnished by the new sobriquet ‘sexminster’
Let’s hope MPs can revert to propriety
And I don’t simply mean maintaining sobriety!

Ken Fisher

Soft Focus

Soft Focus

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Why do we want everything to be in sharp focus?
Always clear-cut, no ambivalence, no equivocation
When our lives are more characterized by light and shade
As if we are peering through a pervasive mist

Of course there are situations where clarity is essential
How much do I have to pay? What time do I check in?
On what dates can I take my holiday?
When will I be entitled to the Sate Pension?

But much of life is less precise or predictable
What course should I study? What career to pursue?
Where might I live in the future? What can I afford?
Will I find a life partner? Do I want to!

And so perhaps it is as well to accept that a soft focus
On future events is the best we can expect
This is not just some simple fatalism
But an acceptance we have no crystal ball

And sometimes I think that a soft focus
Is useful when advocating one opinion or another
On so many topics which divide the world
Dare I mention Religion and Politics – two prime candidates

But others would say this camera aberration on vital matters
Is a cop-out. Tighten up the focus – tweak the lens
There are right opinions and wrong ones – make no mistake
It only requires clarity of thought to get us off the fence

And in yet another aspect of living perhaps the soft focus
Would serve us best. In the matter of criticism of others
Their failures, their inadequacies, their incompetence
And to crown it all – they don’t seem to care a whit!

Well perhaps some of these observations are valid
But how do we handle it? Decrying all in its stark reality
Or taking a more reasonable stance, softening the focus
And realizing our judgments too quick, our verdict too harsh

So this is my plea for the soft focus approach
Let us accept that we cannot ever know the whole truth
And even where we feel we have right on our side
Let blurred vision engender tolerance

Ken Fisher

Halloween

Halloween [Monday 31st October 2016]

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Trick or Treat I hear them ask – what should I reply?
As on the threshold of my door the guisers I espy
To ward them off I pay their price as if it were a ransom
With fruits and sweets and even nuts a gift that I thought handsome

But before I let my ‘guests’ depart I ask them in return
What entertainment will they provide, what act will they perform?
It is in times like these I find that suddenly they’re silent
Unable to convince me that Britain has still Got Talent!

However, eventually together they muster up some courage
One even recites a bawdy poem – not really with much flourish
Two more play on the ‘air guitar’ a stimulating riff
While others mouth imagined lyrics, standing there quite stiff

The performance duly over towards the door they shuffle
And in sharing out the Treats try to avoid a scuffle
It was then I notice their costumes quite exotic
Theatrical to say the least – some even psychedelic

These young celebrants in this ancient hallowed festival
Of evil spirits, ghosts and some things quite heretical
Are really just out to have fun with all their many friends
And despite their spooky garb they bring no ill intent

So when our doorbell rings with the challenge ‘Trick or Treat’?
Let’s welcome them with open heart – and with a smile do greet
‘Cause on the eve of All Saints’ Day it’s best that we been seen
To welcome visitors e’re so strange on this night of Halloween

Ken Fisher

 

Clocks Go Back

Clocks Go Back [Sunday 29th October 2017]

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The days are getting shorter, the nights are drawing in
In no time at all we will arrive at Halloween
Darkness is descending, as we struggle through the gloom
Look out for the guisers draped in their costume

‘Ere we reach that ‘hallowed’ eve the clocks must be turned back
Between Saturday and Sunday an hour they give us back
For last Spring those same clocks were moved an hour forward
To rectify that change now the movement will be rearward

It seems to me this time of year might make you feel depressed
And sometimes negative feelings can be manifest
Some people think this clock change is the harbinger of doom
And thoughts of hibernation fill their hearts with gloom

But most of us will soon accept the changing of the light
Brighter in the morning, then earlier dark at night
Nothing’s really changed, it’s ourselves who’ve played a trick
Tinkering with the clock hands but letting it still tick

So with the changing of the hour we revert to Greenwich Mean
British Summer Time left behind till Spring’s green shoots are seen
But at least we know now where we are, the timing quite official
No fiddling with the hours of day or night, no changes artificial

Ken Fisher

Lentil Soup

Lentil Soup

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I wonder if it is possible for you to envisage a plate of lentil soup
Without finding that your mouth is watering?
Now I am devoid of any culinary skills whatsoever
But when I am treated to a hot bowl of this delectable concoction
I am almost overwhelmed with delight

Apparently this tasty broth can come in many varieties
Each with its own distinct charms to stimulate the palate
So there are versions with red lentil, chickpea and chili
And others comprising carrot, onion, celery and oregano
Vegan soup that will respect some dietary preferences
And for meat-eaters why not try lamb stew and lentils?

A quick trawl through the internet or the cook books
Will lift the pot lid on recipes galore for lentil soups
Try the economical ‘budget buster lentil soup’
At 20 pence per serving – just the thing when times are tight
For more savings – make double quantity and freeze some!

Lentil soups seem to come in a wide range of colours
From rather pale consommé to dark chunky offerings
And some types are gluten free while others offer high protein
And for those needing things to be pepped up a bit
Why not go for carrot and ginger with lentils?

So what more can be said about this quotidian potage?
I think the simple message is – if you are searching
For some food that’s truly nutritional yet irresistible in taste
Look no further than the humble bowl of lentil soup
I bet you are still licking your lips as you think on it!

Ken Fisher

Bureaucracy

Bureaucracy

 

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Bureaucracy sometimes is given a bad name
And tempers have been known to burst into flame
By what for many are just petty restrictions
And particularly awkward terms and conditions

There is no doubt when submitting data on-line
One wonders whoever compiled the design
‘Cause often we struggle to enter the facts
Of our new Registered Car or our Income Tax

Forms are the lifeblood of all office systems
And it is pointless to offer them any resistance
And whatever the information that is demanded
If we don’t supply it we’re left empty-handed

So if it’s a job application or a benefit claim
Or on-line ticket booking, the response is the same
We need to tell them what they want to know
Or the simple reply will be ‘Computer Says No!’

But for those bureaucrats you should spare just a thought
Submerged deep in paper they get quite distraught
As they seek to respond to all we demand
From systems even they may not understand

Ken Fisher

The Clash of the Titans [Presidential Debate]

The Clash of the Titans

Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton shakes hands with Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump after the presidential debate at Hofstra University in Hempstead, N.Y., Monday, Sept. 26, 2016. (Joe Raedle/Pool via AP)

 

I wonder if like me you have found yourself cringing
At the vitriolic salvos fired at each other by those
Who would aspire to be the leader of the ‘free world’
In fact cowering in fear is more accurate than cringing

It seems to me that the level of debate has reached its nadir
When our thoughts are directed more to prurience than politics
More to roistering and partying than to party politics and policies
Not that these antics should be ignored, do they indicate priorities?

Of course without doubt views on morality have changed
And what is now acceptable was formerly roundly condemned
[Although one wonders what may have gone on behind closed doors]
And huge moral issues arise in our volatile world context

Challenges to peace and security bring back echoes of the Cold War
Major wars still smolder away and could burst quickly into flame
Economic instability, poverty, inequality, internecine strife, climate change
Surely these issues should be reflected in the Presidential manifesto?

And so let us hope and pray that these two pugulists will cast off
Their gloves and the rhetoric of the boxing arena
And seek to provide for us a vision worthy of the Office
That whoever wins, will seek the good of others in this divided world

Ken Fisher

Retirement

Retirement

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Retirement gives you time to reflect, and sometimes you might ponder
What happened to all those earlier years – we surely did not squander
But here we are, much more behind than what’s in front for sure
Despite the wisdom of the years the future still obscure

Today’s retirees should not be as depressed as those of former days
On average a longer span is ours – for this the medics praise
And of course it probably is true more days are surely ours
‘Cause good diet and exercise, have helped us keep our powers

Indeed we all know of pensioners who refuse e’er to stand still
Their commitment to volunteering and busyness now their treadmill
Others spend their cash as the globe they circumnavigate
Perhaps they hope to reach the moon before it is too late!

All of this activity is a blessing and a boon to themselves and others
As they seek to help their offspring, even their sisters and their brothers
And there is little doubt charities and clubs and other organisations
Would fail in their mission without the ‘oldies’ co-operation

But there comes a time in the life of every retired person
When steam runs out and once easy tasks now turn into a burden
It’s then that they must claim their right to take their well earned ease
And they at last must realise that rest is no disease!

Ken Fisher

The Volunteer

The Volunteer

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Where would we be without the volunteer?
Those selfless souls who freely offer to take part
Whether it be to join some ‘Great Cause’
And end up making the ‘Supreme Sacrifice’
Or whether it be for a much humbler task
Some regular kindness to our neighbour
That does not demand self-immolation
But nonetheless has the hallmark of self-giving

Is it just me who is becoming more aware
That volunteers seem to be a threatened species?
Despite political hectoring that we should all
Be part of the ‘Big Society’ showing social solidarity
Based on voluntarism and communitarianism
Each one prepared to play our part for the common good
Thus ordinary citizens should be enabled to
Provide the impetus for much greater ‘people power’

These are grand sentiments no doubt advocated
With the best intentions. Unfortunately
There is not too much evidence that the Big Society
Has managed to ‘big itself up’ to any significant scale
And I wonder why so few seem to have caught the vision
And responded to the challenge of active volunteering
Regretfully, I think the zeitgeist of our age is
More that of self-absorption than participation

Why should this be, I ask myself?
Perhaps it is the pace of life, we are all too busy
Work life balance is out of kilter, we are living
In the ‘always connected’ mode – there is no escape
Earning a living, extensive commuting, and exhaustion
All surely play their part. Don’t ask me to do anything
OK – point taken. But will this sound the death knell
Of all that hitherto volunteers have done for us?

‘I hope not’ – I hear you say.
Thank God for the volunteers –but please, please,  just don’t ask me!

Ken Fisher

 

The ‘Flu Jab [2017 Version]

The ‘Flu Jab [2017 Version]

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Don’t you just love it – this time of year?
That NHS reminder that can fill you with fear
It’s time once again to do as directed
And make sure from ‘flu you are fully protected

Not everyone receives this summons from high
But it applies to me – I admit with a sigh
The vaccine comes to us completely free
So take it manfully and don’t try to flee

If you are over the age of sixty-five
They will have checked your name in their archive
Or you are a pregnant lady, or overweight
It’s most unlikely that you can escape

It would appear that this year I can get extra protection
From ‘flu and from shingles, a nasty inflammation
So like the supermarket, the surgery is giving BOGOF*
That from these dual hazards I might well get off

If your immune system is somewhat suspect
They will be even keener your arm to inject
And if around the waist there is too much flab
They will puncture it all with the bold ‘flu jab

Of course we should not complain of this annual ritual
Intended to ensure that we remain fitter
And withstand the dangers of those nasty bugs
That seem to behave like micro-sized thugs

So when the message arrives to make the appointment
Make sure the nurse receives no disappointment
Get along to the surgery and bare your best arm
It will do you much good and surely no harm

Ken Fisher

  • BOGOF = Buy one get one free [except that both of these are free!}