Author Archives: thebardofkelvindale.com

Thank You, and Yes Please

“The biggest doors can be opened by the smallest of keys
Thank you so much, and oh yes please”

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Strange as it may seem we will likely achieve
Much more if we simply learn to say please
These common courtesies we must not eschew
By neglecting to say a polite ‘thank you’

These gentle words that would appease
Will rarely anyone displease
And if we use a little charm
Potential foes we can disarm

Or if by our words we seek to gain
and some objective would attain
Politeness surely will reward
Requests not readily ignored

So let’s not forget those common words
In conversation not always heard
Let our speech pay due regard
These two little words ne’er discard

‘Thank you so much for all that you do’
And then it is certain good things will ensue
When making requests then always say please
And doors will swing open as we’ve found the keys!

Ken Fisher

 

A Timely Warning!

A Timely Warning!   Not to be taken too seriously

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Just cast your eyes upon these tombs
And think what in the future looms
If we stray from the straight and narrow
Our fate it certainly will harrow!

As we gaze upon these stones
From underground, do we hear groans?
What pains were suffered by the dead
‘Fore resting in their earthly bed?

But surely all that here do rest
In life did all their very best
To earn a place in heaven above
By showing others generous love?

So here’s the lesson we must learn
If just reward we hope to earn
Throughout this life be kind to all
That from God’s grace we will not fall

Lofty gravestones may impress
But monuments can rarely bless
If when we’re gone we seek respect
In this life, let love reflect

The simple message of these stones
And tombs filled with those old dry bones
Is nothing does forever last
Live life today, accept what’s passed

 

Ken Fisher

 

Social Kissing

SOCIAL KISSING!

Unknown

 

It may just be that there is something I’m missing
But I’m perplexed by the rules about ‘social kissing’
For this without doubt is a real pressing question
And I would be pleased to hear your suggestions

For most of my life we controlled our emotion
Kissing reserved to show real deep devotion
For parents to children or husband to wife
But rarely to others in everyday life

But now that’s all changed and we kiss everyone
And I’m inclined to think it is much overdone
Not just our family or fairly close mates
Or young lovers embracing on their very first dates

No, today it would seem it is quite de rigueur
The habit ‘s almost become like a force majeure
No matter how casual may be the connection
We feel obligated to show our affection

But what is expected, a peck on the cheek?
Perhaps for many that may seem too weak
Go the whole hog, I say with a shrug
And grasp my victim in a mighty bear hug!

Then there’s the problem of which side comes first
Get it wrong and your sore head will need to be nursed
As your nose swipes across your acquaintance’s face
You will try to disguise the emerging grimace

The kiss straight on the lips might indeed satisfy
No doubt a technique that most bounders might try
But for those less red-blooded let’s keep it cool
Anyway, inappropriate kissing might prove you a fool

So where does this leave us, is there no protocol
For modern behaviour – no guidance at all?
Perhaps we should return to the well-tried handshake
And give all this kissing and hugging a break
Ken Fisher

 

[Original idea for this poem from the Daily Telegraph]

My Shiny New iMac

My Shiny New iMac

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I am now the owner of a shiny new Mac
Having got this beauty, I don’t want to turn back
I have released my grip on the Snow Leopard’s mane
To excitedly cavort with El Capitan!

Probably none of the above will make any sense
And if you know nothing of Macs that’s a good defence
And here is more jargon, just to show off
The retina screen is indeed very posh

Inside the casing so slim and so light
The massive store holds one whole terabyte
Its internal chips ensure remarkable speed
No matter how complex the input we feed

So I have to say I am feeling euphoric
Although yet to master its rules esoteric
And also it does give me cause for alarm
As I transfer old data, avoiding all harm

Anyway I forge ahead with this wondrous new toy
If you are a geek you would admire such a ploy
But I do hope this Mac containing such treasures
Will give faithful service and bring me much pleasure
Ken Fisher

The Schools’ Mid-term Holidays

The Schools’ Mid-term Holidays

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The joy of our teachers, the scourge of the parents
These inconvenient breaks amidst each school term
Those well enough off will find this no challenge
For they will be jetting off towards the lure of the sun

But what about the rest of us not quite so well-heeled?
How do we cope with our offspring when there’s no-one
To take on the duty in loco parentis, to share in this task
of minding our own so that we may still work?

Well such a challenge demands great ingenuity
And perhaps not a little subterfuge or even guile
Neighbours and friends who may owe us a favour
But most likely grandparents find that love demands all

But even if we have managed to fill the great breach
And the homegrown ‘cavalry’ have answered the call
How will they amuse them and ensure that each one will
Survive the whole week and still smile through it all

Well a search on the websites might prove somewhat fruitful
As entrepreneurs have jumped on this chance
To maximize profit by flaunting their ‘solutions’
In carnival thrills or wild adventure challenges

Others have decided that the health of the nation
Would be much improved by athletic endeavour
Thus swimming, and skating, and climbing up walls
Present us with chances to risk body and souls

Fortunately the local councils are making some effort
By drawing us in to their manifold facilities
To educate and inform using special events
At libraries, sports centres, even the public parks

One thing is for certain, no matter what we do
To amuse and occupy these hours of enforced leisure
At cinema, science centre, historical site or museum
It will not come cheap in hard money or effort

However, the schools holiday break should still be a pleasure
We might even find time to build broken bridges
To bond with our loved ones throughout its duration
Yet our smiles might sometimes be through gritted teeth!
Ken Fisher

 

FOUNTAINS ABBEY

FOUNTAINS ABBEY, YORKSHIRE

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This ancient pile, whose history stretches back to 1132 AD
The sour fruit of a dispute among the Benedictines of York
Some 13 monks formed the basis of a new foundation who
Settled not far away on the River Skell, a tributary of the Ure

In due time the expelled monks applied to join the Cistercian order
Whose leader was St Bernard of Clairvaux Abbey in Burgandy
And under the tutelage of that order the community at Fountains
Learned how to celebrate the Canonical Hours and to construct their buildings

And so a succession of venerable abbots oversaw the building and
development of this community of worship and work and service
Which continued until 1539 when, as a result of the desecration
Instigated by Henry VIII the abbey lands were sold to a London merchant

Gradually the fabric of this magnificent site was cannibalized
So that eventually all that remained was the gaunt outline
Of this formerly glorious construction within whose walls
Praise and prayer and community life had persisted over four centuries

KEN FISHER (with info from other sources)

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Radio – the Listener’s Window on the World

Radio – The Listener’s Window on the World

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For the genius of Guglielmo Marconi we must truly all give thanks
Among all his contemporary scientists he was in the very front rank
On the shoulders of Heinrich Hertz who found waves electromagnetic
Marconi built a method to send out these signals energetic

 

Marconi concocted a plan most cunning that avoided telegraph wires
And thus sent out his ‘wireless’ signals far above all those church spires
As the 19th century reached its close his experiments came to fruition
When with magnets, coils and dancing sparks he made his first transmission

 

From such primitive experiments by these wise men of invention
Flowed a cascade of ideas yielding endless innovation
Hence crystal sets and thermionic valves (which frequently got hot)
Transistors followed next and radio sets did then shrink a lot

 

As the years took their course and broadcasts grew universal
Transmitter networks worldwide ensured signal dispersal
Initially wave lengths were short or long and sometimes just medium
For local sites we had medium and long, for distance, shortwaves gave a premium

 

Sometimes people would complain of FM interference
Then along came VHF giving much more coherence
And in latter days, in a world of instant communication
Quality transformed as satellites beam o’er the nations

 

But the radio scene was much enhanced not just by technology
Its programming stretched wide spanning all ideologies
From off-shore pirate ships to internet radio delights
Broadcast output unceasing by day or by night

 

So today we have radio which is quite all-pervasive
It’s in our cars, on our phones, perhaps too invasive?
Where e’er we roam in this wide world its waves fill the air
We get it live, by DAB, or pod-cast, no matter when or where

 

And radio for each listener is a window on the world
Its masts like nations’ flags are everywhere unfurled
And if the aim is that ‘nation should speak peace unto nation’
Then those early pioneers assured its true foundations

 

So we have come a long way from that first pulse ethereal
Art by invention sent from masts to aerials
A world-wide enterprise to educate, entertain and inform
The broadcast media have all our lives transformed

 

Therefore acknowledge the debt we owe those pioneers of the past
Without whose achievements we could not amass
Such bounteous gifts as come winging by the air
An inheritance rich that is quite beyond compare

 

 

Ken Fisher

 

 

 

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Unpredictable [The Scottish Weather!]

Unpredictable

[A comment on the Scottish Weather!]

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Believe the forecast? Well I wouldn’t go that far
The Scottish weather we’re convinced our pleasure’s bound to mar
If morning brings the sunshine bright, the noon will see it gone
Rain before the eventide denies the promised dawn

 

We never know quite what to wear midst all that fickle change
And our planned calendar we’ll need to re-arrange
We play it cool but soon we find the weather is so hot
Our temper’s frayed, our nerves thus overwrought

 

More likely it’s the opposite, we’re hoping for the heat
Or at the very least we’ll still have two dry feet
What will it be? Wet, dry, hot or even cold
Sure predictions by us would simply be too bold

 

And of course this weather is so volatile it can affect our mood
Sometimes our cheeriness is easily subdued
We simply must adjust and learn just how to cope
No matter what the days may bring we should not lose all hope

 

For rain showers give us verdant land and open fields so green
Our streets too by this process are easily kept clean
And sunshine, when we get it, brings on the crops and flowers
The mixture of these elements shows nature’s mighty powers

 

Of course there are those who cannot stand no sun or too much rain
And thus the exodus of ex pats who now call home sunny Spain!
But being true Scots most of us are made of sterner stuff
No cowards we, we hang on in e’en though the climate’s rough

 

And after all who would want to get up every day
Looking out the window and finding, come what may
The vista never changes when time it is to rise
Far better we, when curtains slide, an every day surprise!

 

So let’s not let the weather become our pet obsession
There is no need for rain or shine to bring on deep depression
Let’s learn to live with change and smile what e’er betide
Thus all our Scottish weather we’ll cope with in our stride

Ken Fisher

 

 

 

 

The Bonhomie of the Coffee Club

The Bonhomie of the Coffee Club

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One of life’s greatest pleasures, I have to say
Is joining with friends on Coffee Club day
And as we all gather round this steaming libation
The brew is transformed like some precious oblation

As we savour the mixture of espresso or latte
Americano, cappuccino, or fine macchiato
Café Cubano, cortado or simple flat white
These wonderful flavours our palates excite

But perhaps even more than these tastes so exotic
Is the joy of companionship almost hypnotic
‘Cause when you’re together with like-minded friends
Our everyday worries we soon learn to transcend

So perhaps in place of a doctor’s prescription
And even now at the risk of a mild new addiction
Why not succumb to the Coffee Club’s charms
And relax oh so gently in caffein’s warm arms?

Ken Fisher

 

 

 

When the Light Darkens – Again

When the Light Darkens – Again
Following the Paris bombings in November, now in Brussels

Now at this time of Tenebrae in the days leading to Easter when the candles are successively extinguished to bring only darkness, we reflect again on the clouds over Europe.  I present once more my poem written following the Paris Bombings – When the Light Darkens

 

Brussells

Brussells

 

When life seems good and full of light
How can its days turn into night?
But that it does there is no doubt
And inwardly we have to shout

 

What has gone wrong, who can we blame?
Why can’t our path remain the same?
A life of praise for all its joy
No longer does our heart employ

 

We seek for reasons why things change
And far and wide our thoughts do range
But contemplation brings no balm
It does not cheer or bring us calm

 

We agonise o’er words and deeds
O’er failure to confront the needs
That might this tragedy divert
And so our sorrow thus avert

 

But in this time of sad reflection
No nostrum found for lost affection
And only sadness is in sight
No early hope of love or light

 

Thus we must journey on our way
No cure for pain our fears allay
Our only hope that time might ease
And thus restore our inward peace

 

But just as night will turn to day
We’ll find again the sun’s bright ray
Will slowly mend our broken heart
As warmth and love it does on us impart

 

Ken Fisher

 

CityScape

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Glasgow CityScape

 

For some, contentment can only be found
By living out this life in some rural idyll
But while there is no doubting the virtues
Of the countryside with its bucolic blessings
For me the city’s magnetism has much more attraction
Even if some of its denizens may prove less of a boon

 

For while a pastoral existence
May offer peace to troubled souls
Life midst the hills and glens
Is not devoid of trials
The least of which might simply be
Boredom and isolation

 

And yes you can be lonely amidst the teeming city
But near at hand in those crowded streets
Awaits a nostrum for occasional ennui
Surely amidst the panoply of choice
From theatre, to sport, music, faith and learning
We can as easily discover a meaningful existence

 

Ken Fisher

The Promise of Spring

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The Promise of Spring
[for the vernal equinox]
 
Is it too good to be believed?
Windows still recovering from March gales
When hailstones stung our cheeks
Dark clouds shrouded the lowering sky
New shoots fighting for life
Ground yet sodden by endless rain
At last a brighter dawn emerges
For today is the equinox
A twice-yearly event
When night and day are of equal length
The day when the sun’s centre
Passes through the equator
The promise of more light and warmth
But above all this it is
‘The First Day of Spring’
Creatures stir from hibernation
The rebirth of flora and fauna
Perhaps new hope arises
In our weary souls

KEN FISHER